Princess Diaries nine and a half
by Princess Evey
Summary: Just an Idea of how things might go after the Princess Diaries book Nine! I don't own it... But I do love it.
1. Chapter 1

**Sunday September 27th, 10am Bathroom at The Loft.**

Ok so I was just woken up by the sound of my phone ringing. I don't know what kind of person calls at 9.30 in the morning on a Sunday but my first though was Michael. He must have got my email by now. I know it has been two weeks and we are just friends now but I guess I thought that if I wrote back to him he might realize that he wanted me back.

It wasn't Michael it was JP. I was happy to hear from him but he's still not Michael.

Here's how the conversation went.

JP: Hi

Mia: Hi

JP: Hi

Mia: Hi

Ok so I know this conversation was going nowhere but I really had no idea what I was supposed to say. I know I kissed him and all but I still don't know what that means. Especially seeing as me and Michael are talking again.

JP: You don't regret what happened last night do you?

OMG! He knows I wrote back to Michael. I should have told him that I was having second thoughts and that I wasn't sure I was ready to start any relationship yet but instead I said.

Mia: No of course not, why would I? It's not like I have a boyfriend or anything.

I can't believe I just wrote that. I am the worst person the world.

JP: Actually I was asking about the whole not being a princess thing.

Mia: Oh right, well no I mean it all seems pretty great. I mean sure my Dad is mad right now but I'm sure he'll get over it. And with any luck Grandmere won't ever want to speak to me again. It's not like I need princess lessons anymore.

NO MORE PRINCESS LESSONS! This is the greatest day ever!

JP: Well as long as you're happy, I'm happy.

JP is so sweet! He really deserves someone better then me. I mean we just kissed and what do I do I email my ex boyfriend.

Mia: I'm Happy.

JP: So is it still ok if I come round today? You're not grounded for freeing your country without your parent's permission or anything.

Oh God that's right I said I'd hang out with JP today, what if he wants to kiss again. Do I want to kiss him? What if he comes round and Michael emails me back? What if Michael wants me back what am I going to say to JP? I am the worst. What am I talking about Michael and I are just friends now and Doctor Knutz says I should do something everyday that scares me.

Mia: I'm not grounded, but I have heaps of homework to do.

JP: I could help you if you want.

WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SO SWEET???? I guess it wouldn't hurt for him to come around.

Mia: Ok, come round.

JP: I'm glad you said that because I am in front of your building right now.

WHAT!!!! So that is why I am sitting here in my own bathroom with the shower running writing in my journal and JP is sitting at my kitchen table with Mr G (my mum is still in bed like any normal person).

The moment I heard the door I only had time to grab my journal and some clothes and run to the bathroom. I couldn't let JP see me in my pajamas I mean they are the totally cute ones that I got with Lana that day we went shopping (because my mum threw out my Hello Kitty ones) but still...

YOU CAN"T LET A BOY YOU JUST KISSED LAST NIGHT SEE YOU IN YOU PAJAMAS!

Even if you don't know what that kiss meant or what he expects from you now because of it.

I guess I can't stay here forever. I can't even move to Genovia anymore because I ruined that and now my dad is so angry at me… And I can't even check to see if Michael replied to my email because I can't let JP know that I wrote to him.

Why does this all happen to me?


	2. Chapter 2

**Sunday, September 27th, 6pm, the Loft.**

JP just left, he did nothing all day that might suggest that I kissed him last night. I mean for someone who is supposed to be so in love with me he was doing a very good job of pretending that nothing had happened. I don't even know if I want anything to happen between us but at least I realize that things can't be the same as they were. But I guess I was kind of distracted which might be because...

I STILL HAVEN"T HEARD FROM MICHAEL!!!

I just checked my email and nothing. I know he is really busy but you think he would have time to write back to me, I mean he is the one that wanted to be friends.

I know it's really bad to think about my ex boyfriend when I am sort of getting a new one (at least I think I am we haven't really talked about it yet, which is a good thing because I don't know what I would say). But I was with Michael for a very long time and you just don't fall out of love with someone when you kiss someone else. Something that at Tina would never understand, she was online when I was checking to see if Michael had written back.

Iluvromance: Mia where have you been I have been trying to contact you!!!

  
FtLouie: Sorry Tina I have had a lot to think about.

  
Iluvromance: I KNOW I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE NOT A PRINCESS ANYMORE!!! Does this mean you don't need Lars anymore? Cos Wahim will be really upset.

  
FtLouie: I am still a Princess, Tina so I guess I still need Lars. But that's not what I have been thinking about

I kissed JP… Twice!

  
Iluvromance: YOU KISSED JP!!! Oh my god! What was it like? When did it happen? Tell me everything! This  
is so romantic. This is so great now you and I and Boris and JP can go to prom together.

Tina can miss the point totally some times. Can't she see that me I am having an emotion crisis at the moment. Can't she get that my heart still belongs to someone else and that even though JP seems like the perfect guy it does not mean that I am going to get over Michael just like that. I can't tell her about emailing him back she just wouldn't understand. You don't like two guys at once in Tinaland.

  
FtLouie: Tina I am still getting over Michael and I am not even sure what JP and me are. I mean when JP was over here today he didn't mentions last nights kiss at all? He didn't do anything all day that would suggest that we are a couple.

  
Iluvromance: Don't let Michael ruin your chance for love you and JP would be so cute together.

  
FtLouie: I have to go I have a whole bunch of homework to get done by tomorrow. 

Which is true I mean I do have a tonne of homework to do, I'm not doing it but I just can't handle another person telling me that JP and I make such a great couple. Why wasn't anyone this supportive when Michael and me got together?

My phone is ringing... Maybe it's Michael.


	3. Chapter 3

**Monday 28th September, Limo on the way to school**

OK so it wasn't Michael on the phone it was Grandmere. And no she wasn't calling me from Genovia to tell me that she would see me at Christmas time or calling to yell at me for ruining her life. Instead she seems to have forgotten everything about Saturday night apart from Sophia Loren inviting her to pledge as a Domina Reis. She also seems to believe that we need to continue princess lessons.

"Grandmere, I don't need Princess Lessons anymore" I tried to explain. "I have to focus on my school work because now that Genovia is a democracy I will have to get a job so I don't have time for Princess lessons because I am already failing Geometry."

"Nonsense Amelia I see no reason why you should not continue your tutelage with me. Your father has promised that he will sort all this trouble out so I will see you tomorrow afternoon." She said this as nothing as significant as the forming of a new government and a life change for her was actually happening.

"We will need to get you a new out fit for the party I am throwing for the Domina Reis as a thank you for the offer to join. Then of course we will have to get you a gown for the welcoming party which they will throw for me when all this silly ritual is done with in a couple of months."

It seemed like she was not going to shut up so I said. "Alright Grandmere I'll see you tomorrow but it will only be to discuss the end of my princess training."

Now I realize that she is an old woman but I am starting to think that she is senile. Doesn't she understand the changes that she is going to have to make, and the fact that her life as she knows it is going to change forever. It is now too important for me to get good marks in school for me to be having princess lessons every afternoon. So the moment I got of the phone to Grandmere I called my dad.

"What is it Mia?" Was how my dad answered the phone. Which is not a nice way to talk to your only daughter but it made me realize I had to get straight to the point?

"You have to explain to her that I do not need Princess lessons anymore and that I do not have time for them." I tried to sound less angry then really was.

"Mia this is not a very good time for me to referee a fight between you and your grandmother. I am trying to deal with the problem you caused on Saturday night. The least you can do is humor your grandmother for a while at least until I work out what exactly we are going to do." He was starting to sound a bit annoyed.

"What do you mean problem you can't continue to hide the truth from a country that has been lied to for so many years just because you are afraid of your mother. The truth is out there and you have to accept it!" I guess I was annoyed that he didn't seem to appreciate the seriousness of what I was going though.

"I know Mia that is why I am working so hard to figure out to do this. Its is not just a matter of you saying it and it becoming true. Like you said the truth is out there and now I have to make this truth into a reality so that our country does not lose its credibility. This whole thing is not solely my decision it has to be passed by the Genovian Parliament and until then you are still the crown princess and will therefore continue for fill all of the duties that may entail... INCLUDING PRINCESS LESSONS!" OK then I realized that perhaps enough time had not passed since Saturday for us to go back to the way that we normally are.

"Fine" I said "I'll see you at Dr Knutz on Friday." On that I hung up so that he would not have a chance to say no.

He just doesn't seem to remember that I am going through an emotional crisis at the moment. No that doesn't seem to matter. He also doesn't seem to care that I need all of my spare time to keep up with my homework and try to catch up my Geometry grade because now that I don't have Michael to tutor me I have almost now chance of passing. So now on top of trying to figure out what I have to do with my life on account of having the choice now I also have to deal with princess lessons which are now totally pointless. I am going to have so much to tell Dr Knutz on Friday and I bet he thought that I was getting better.


	4. Chapter 4

**Monday, September 28th, English**

_I can't believe you kissed JP, did you see him this morning he looked really cute! I saw you talking to him what did he say??? - Tina_

He just wanted to know if I wanted to study with him this afternoon on because now that Kenny is not around we really have to figure out what exactly is going on in chemistry. - Mia  
_  
He is so sweet! So where are you going to go? - Tina_

Nowhere I told him that I couldn't go... I have princess lessons. - Mia  
_  
WHAT!!! I thought that you didn't need them anymore!!! - Tina_

Well that's what I thought but apparently my grandmother can't pull her head around the fact that I now have more important things then princess lessons... LIKE TRYING TO SALVAGE MY LOVE LIFE!!! And think my dad is still angry about me not warning him I was going to free Geonovia. - Mia  
_  
That's so not fair! - Tina_

Yeah I know tell me about it I wish that Lilly was still talking to me because she would be trying to get onto the UN or something. This has to be violating some kind of human rights. - Mia

_So have you forgiven Lilly for the whole yelling at you in front of everyone and making a website dedicated to hating you thing. - Tina_

NO!!!! I have not and I will not forgive her, how could I Tina she humiliated me in front EVERYONE!!! - Mia

_I know, I didn't say you should and especially now that you and JP are dating. - Tina_

For the last time Tina me and JP are not dating we have only kissed once and I don't even think that he likes me anymore because I am such a bad kisser no wonder Michael broke up with me! And anyway Lilly is dating my ex so she couldn't say anything about me and JP!!! - Mia  
_  
Mia you are not a bad kisser I'm sure that JP is still in love with you, he is volcano of passion and you can't just stop a volcano. Anyway I thought that you weren't sure how you felt about JP? - Tina_

I will not pass notes in class.  
I will not pass notes in class.  
I will not pass notes in class.  
I will not pass notes in class.  
I will not pass notes in class.  
I will not pass notes in class.  
I will not pass notes in class.  
I will not pass notes in class.  
I will not pass notes in class.  
I will not pass notes in class.  
I will not pass notes in class.  
I will not pass notes in class.  
I will not pass notes in class.  
I will not pass notes in class.  
I will not pass notes in class.

This is just not worth it anymore...


	5. Chapter 5

**Monday September 28th, Limo on the way to home from the Four Seasons**

She has gone completely insane! I know that she is old and she is from a different generation but this time she has gone too far.

So I got to the Four Seasons, which is where Grandmere is staying at the moment after school and I was already to tell her exactly why I did not need to continue with Princess Lessons.

'Grandmere, you have to try to understand that no I no longer have my future secured for me I need to work alot harder on my school work so that i can get into a good college." I said before she could stop me, I was so worked up for an argument that I was not expecting her reply.

'I understand that Amelia which is what we shall be working on in your lessons from now on." Said Grandmere as if it was perfectly normal for her to understand let along take my side in an argument.

"Now that you are no longer secured the future which you have been training for it is all the more important that we continue your lessons so that we can secure another future for you." Again she said this in a weirdly calm voice. Rommel was even looking less terrified.

"But Grandmere wouldn't it be better if I spent my time instead of at princess lessons working on bringing my Geometry grade up?" I said without an once of conviction in my voice.

"Don't be silly Amelia. Now I have made an appointment at Channel for you tomorrow afternoon. They have of course been working on a few different options. But I think that it does not need to be two overstated." I was starting to get really confused.

"What are you talking about Grandmere." I tried to sound alot less terrified then I really was.

"Well you will need a gown for the ball" She said this as if I was stupid not to have known that there was a ball happening.

"What Ball Grandmere?"

"Your debutante ball of course. It will be held the Friday after next. I don't know why you are gauking at me like that Amelia I have discussed all this with your father did he not tell you?" I think the look on my face said it all.

"Well he is rather busy with this mess you have caused." Said Grandmere "Now lets get down to more important things, I will need you to write a list of any eligible bachelors you would like to invite and don't just say Prince William you know that he is not an eligible candidate."

If my shock was showing before it was nothing to how I felt now.

MY GRANDMOTHER WANTS TO SELL ME OFF! Why oh why can't I have a normal grandmother who says things like "your growing up too fast." But instead I get one that thinks that because I am not going to rule a country the next best thing is to marry me off to someone!

I finally got my head around what she was saying.

"GRANDMERE I AM SIXTEEN YEARS OLD I HOPE THAT YOU ARE NOT SUGGESTING THAT I GET MARRIED!!!!" I was starting to get mad now. "Dad can't know about this."

"Your father is too busy at the moment to worry about your future he has left that task up to me. Like you said Amelia you are only sixteen years old you do not understand what your life is going to be like now that your future is not secure. I realise you may not think you are ready to think about the future that is why I am worrying about it for you."

I was totally lost for words. This is just the most insane things she has ever done. I mean this just takes the cake. I just could not even think of anything to say I just sat down and listened to her plan this ball she was throwing to show me off to any and every eligible bachelor in the world.

I could not wait to get out of there because the moment I did I called my dad, but instead of the sympathy I was expecting all I got ws this.

"Mia, what is it this time?" My dad said not even trying to hide his annoyance.

"Dad she wants to sell me." I said

"Mia this is not the time, whatever you Grandmother did this time I want you to deal with it. You seemed to think you were old enough to bring democracy to a country that has never known it so you can deal with your grandmother." After this he hung up.

So I guess I am on my own...

ONLY HOW I AM SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH GRANDMERE BY MYSELF... MY DAD CAN'T EVEN DO THAT.

Just when I thought things were starting to get better. I may as well just give up...


	6. Chapter 6

**Tuesday September 29th, The Loft**

As if my life couldn't get any worse.

I just broke up with my boyfriend the love of my life who I will never fully be complete without.  
My best friend is no longer speaking to me!  
I am a Princess but thanks to me I don't even have a secure future anymore, which is leading to...  
MY GRANDMOTHER TRYING TO FIND ME A HUSBAND!  
It turns out I am using one of my best friends as a rebound guy.  
And to top it all of MICHAEL STILL HASN'T WRITTEN BACK

Oh and I am no longer aloud to do the one thing that is keeping me calm in all this (writing in my journal) anywhere but in my room at home when I have done all my home work... I am not even supposed to be writing in it now, I am supposed to be describing a holiday destination that means something to me.

I still don't get why Michael hasn't written back, did I do something that made him not want to be friends. Maybe he has met another girl. Do you think Judith Gershner would have gone to Japan too? Maybe she is there working on some fruit fly cloning experiment and they met up and... and...

ARGHHHHHHHH! How could he do this to me? I mean Tina says that he probably just busy with his robotic arm thingy but Tina doesn't get it he was the one that wanted to be friends, if he really did he would have written back by now. I can't believe this still hurts so much. It just makes me feel worse about JP as well. 

It all kind of came from a conversation I had with Lana today.

So I was sitting at lunch looking a bit worse for ware I have to say but that's understandable considering what my grandmother is trying to do. Lana sat down next to me and said "So what's with this ball thing your grandmother is having. My mom said she got an invitation for it yesterday."

"I think," I said a bit hesitant to tell Lana about my problems, I was glad that everyone else was still getting there lunch. "That she is trying to find me a husband" I continued. I was expecting her to laugh in my face but instead she just looked at me.  
"That sucks" She replied "I hate how my mom is always trying to control my life, even down to what I wear but at least she has never tried to interfere with my love life."

I was shocked, I think that Lana had actually understood what I was talking about. She is the first person that has ever really got all the trouble that Grandmere caused me.

"I just don't know what I am supposed to do it is my debutante ball. I can't very well no go." I can't believe I am spilling my problems with my Grandmere. "I just know she is going to want me to dance with every single guy there." Much to my suprise she said something that actually helped.

"She can't if everyone knows you are already dating someone else." She said while taking a bite of her salad. "Then you could bring him as your date and you wouldn't have to dance with anyone else."

"But I'm not. And Michael is in Japan anyway." It was a nice idea but Lana seemed to forget that I just can't get a boyfriend in less then two weeks like she can.

"What about that JP guy, he's totally into you and everyone already thinks your a couple anyway." She didn't even look up from her food.

"I can't do that, I don't even know how a feel about JP yet and I am still not over Michael. I can't just pretend to like JP so that I can use him to get out of dancing with Prince William." I sort of said this last part a bit louder then I should have because Tina heard as she was sitting down.

"YOU'RE DANCING WITH PRINCE WILLIAM!" Tina screamed at me.

"It's just this stupid ball my Grandmother is throwing." I tried to make it sound as not cool as possible.

"Do you think that I would be able to come?" She was looking at me with her eyes so wide I could not possibly say no. 

As soon as I said she could come I had Boris saying that he wasn't letting Tina go and dance with a Prince without him and that if Tina could go then he would go too. This was sooo sweet that I could not say no even if it was just a way for Tina and Boris to stop making out which Tina had started doing after what Boris had said.   
So the next thing I know both Tina and Boris are coming with me to this ball. A ball where I am going to be the product being launched. I was lucky that JP was not here this time. He didn't arrive until after the excitement had died down.

But what Lana had said got me thinking. I mean what if I was to date JP, I mean I do like him and it looks like Michael as forgotten about me completely. Maybe I have to date JP to see if I liked him.

I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON! I can't use JP like that.

Maybe if I asked him as friend to go to the ball and just let Grandmere assume that we were dating. I mean it wouldn't be bad to bring him as friend to the ball would it. I could just explain to him what was going on and he would understand right...

Who am I kidding? I kissed JP I can't kiss him and then invite him to a ball as friends.

What am I going to do? I wish Lilly was talking to me.

No I don't Lilly doesn't deserve my friendship. No real friend would make a website like that.

It's just she would know what to do. I miss her I guess. And I miss Michael. 

Maybe he has written back.


	7. Chapter 7

**Wednesday, 10am, The loft**

This is the second worst day ever. The first being the day that Michael broke up with me.

So I got to school this morning (without my journal... thanks Lars) and as I was walking in I ran into JP.

Hey Mia, so what's this ball all about?" I am not even joking that he what he said. How did find out about it??? Maybe he expects me to ask him to go with me... I mean we did kiss after all.

"Oh well it's just this stupid thing my Grandmother is making me do. How did you know about it?" I tried to sound as uninterested as possible so that he wouldn't think that I didn't want him to find out, I didn't but I can't let him know that. He would hate me.

"I got an invite yesterday. I didn't think that it sounded like something you would be into." The he turned to me stopped me looked me in the eyes and said "I'll only go if you want me too."

This just pushed me over the edge.

JP IS THE SWEETEST GUY EVER WHY AM I NOT IN LOVE WITH HIM!!!

I just suddenly felt like the worst person ever. How could I ever think about using someone like JP? The next thing I new I was trying to hold back the tears. But it was too much I started to cry and it wasn't just a single tear I started to ball my eyes out like I had that time when Michael had shown me the video game he made me.

Only this time I knew JP wasn't making fun of me he really loved me and I don't deserve it. This time I was the mean one I knew I was breaking his heart by reacting like this. I mean he hadn't even said anything bad it was just the look in his eyes. It was a look that I missed but it was coming from the wrong person.

So I just sat down in at the entrance to Albert Einstein High and cried. I couldn't stop myself. It was all I could think of doing. I knew everyone was staring at me I could hear JP and Lars asking what was wrong. I even hear Tina's voice. But all I could do was cry.

JP and Lars lifted me and carried me into the school. The next thing I new I was sitting in the nurse's office and she was asking everyone to leave so that I could calm down. I had stopped crying because I don't think I had any tears left.

I guess the nurse must have called my mom because she came and convinced me to come home with her. Not that it took much convincing my bed sounded really well.

So that is where I am now I am back where I started from. In my bed and I am back to the plan of never leaving it again. It was a good plan I don't know why I ever gave it up.

My mom just stuck her head in the door and told me that I had a letter. I don't even care it is probably just an invite to Grandmere's stupid ball. I am going to go to sleep..


	8. Chapter 8

**Wednesday, 12pm the Loft**

So my mom said that I could not just sit lie around and sleep all day and that if she expected her to let me stay home for the rest of the day I was going to have to talk to her...

Well I mean I couldn't let her make me go back to school not after what I had done... And I didn't want to have to explain to JP what I had done.

So now all I have to do is make up a problem that my mom will believe caused me to have a breakdown.

"Now Mia, Lars says that you were talking to JP when all this happened. I don't know what he could have said to you that made you so upset but Mia you should know better then to let a guy make you cry."

I had this whole story about how I thought that I had found a lump and that I was sure that I had cancer or maybe I had discovered my long lost twin or something. But I couldn't let my mom think that JP had done something to hurt me. This was not his fault. So before I knew it I was spilling the whole thing to my mom. Including the kiss between JP and me. And Michael not writing back even though he said he wanted to be friends.

My mom just stared at me for a bit.. Even my mom thinks that I am freak and moms are supposed to know what to do when everything goes wrong, but I suppose my mom can't even pay the bills on time.

"Mia, I think that you feel guilty because you like JP and also because you still love Michael" She sounded serious when she said this but she had to be joking right? RIGHT??? I mean I know that I and Michael are broken up.

"It is possible to like more then one person at the one time. And just because you still love Michael does not mean that you can't like JP as more then just a friend." She was using that face she used when I have done something that reminds her of when she was young. Oh god I hope she doesn't start a story. No good story ever came started with 'When I was your age.'

"Mia I think that you need to try to forget about Michael." I guess she could see the look on my face so she added "at least for the moment. You and Michal had something really special but what you need to try to understand is that not all relationships are as special as you and Michael... No that's the wrong way to put it. Just that you don't have to be in love with someone to date them."

I could not believe that my own mother was saying this. I expected it from Lana and from Grandmere but my own mother telling me to date a guy that I wasn't in love with. I was lost for words. That's so not fair on JP.

oh my god what if Michael wasn't really in love with me after all. Maybe he was just dating me because he liked me. Maybe he only told me that he loved me because he felt sorry for me. I could never do that to JP. I could feel the tears starting to well up in my eyes. I guess my mom could too because she said.

"Just because you date someone else it does not make what you and Michael had any less special. And it does not mean that you have to fall in love with JP." She was starting to panic because the tears had started to fall.

"Mom" I said through sobs "I can't do that to JP. He had only ever been nice to me I can't tell him that I love him if I don't. I know how that feels. AND I AM NOT JUST GOING TO FALL OUT OF LOVE WITH MICHAEL." So I was yelling and crying but instead of yelling back my mum just walked over to me and hugged me. I was not expecting this.

"You don't have to tell JP that you love him, but you should tell him something. I think if JP is as understanding as you think he is he will understand if you just tell him the truth." My mom whispered in my ear. "Maybe this is what Michael meant when he said that you had some growing to do. I don't think he would have coped with you freaking out all the time while he was over in Japan. He really has to concentrate on his work, and how could he do that if he was worrying about you. And he would worry Mia, because I am sure he does love you."

Maybe it was something to do with my mom hugging me or maybe it was what she had said but I just felt that everything maybe wasn't as bad as I thought. I mean maybe it was a good thing that Michael hadn't written back to me. He did say that we needed some space and there is a lot of space between here and Japan.

I can't believe I am saying this but maybe I should date JP. If he doesn't hate me for embarrassing him in front of everyone at school.


	9. Chapter 9

**Wednesday, 6pm, the loft**

Ok so I think I just had the weirdest day ever! My mom got me out of princess lessons, but that's not even the best part.

I was feeling better after my mom and I talked, I guess she understands more then I thought. I didn't even get that upset when I checked my email and Michael still hadn't written back. I still got upset, I just didn't cry.

I thought my mom understood until a couple of hours ago when JP came to see how I was and…

SHE LET HIM IN!

She let him come up to my room without even warning me. I had total bed hair and I was in the worst clothes ever!

He stood at the door for a couple of minutes while I sat upright in my bed trying to work out what exactly had be going through my mothers mind to let anyone in… let alone JP!

I finally got over my initial shock and said "You want to come in."

With that he walked into my room and CLOSED THE DOOR! I started to freak out! I am not aloud in my room with a boy with the door closed. I kept glancing at the door waiting for Mr G to come in and pretend he was offering us a drink but really just leaving the door open, but he didn't come.

Then JP sat down on my bed next to me… I am surprised I didn't pass out.

"Mia, I think we need to talk" said JP, I was trying to hold back the tears because nothing good ever comes after those words. "I didn't want to have to do this so soon I thought that maybe things would continue along naturally but after what happened today I realized that I had to tell you."

I was confused, was he going to tell me that I was such a bad kisser that he didn't love me anymore because of it? Maybe he had found someone else. Maybe he was blocking my emails some how. No that is way too mean.

He opened his mouth to speak but before he could I blurted out "I'm sorry about what happened today, I'm sorry that I don't love you, I want to I am trying to… Ok so I haven't been trying very hard so far but I am going to start. Please don't hate me I know I can kiss better."

He seemed genuinely shocked by what I said. He looked like he was going to say something but he stopped himself.

"You are not a bad kisser Mia, in fact you're a really good kisser I just thought that you didn't want to kiss me again." He started to look a little strange; I realized he was holding back tears.

I don't know why I did it he just looked so sad and so well hot sitting there and I felt really bad that he was so upset because of me. I guess I also just wanted too. So the next thing I knew I lent across and kissed him. It was a really nice kiss, I think I might even have felt something we even moved on to frenching no worries. I drew the line when he tried to go for second base.

"I think you should go JP" I said but I didn't really sound very convincing so he just kept on kissing me. It was then that my mom knocked on the door we pulled apart just as she opened it to ask if JP would be staying for dinner. I am kind of glad that she did because I think things might have been getting a little out of hand and I may be ready to kiss another boy but I am defiantly not ready to go any further.

JP got up to leave and I remembered that JP had had something to tell me. He looked a bit funny when I brought it up but he just said it he wanted to ask me to come over to his house for dinner on Friday night… After princess lessons of course.

A part of me wanted to say no but I said yes because it seemed the kind of thing that Eleanor Roosevelt would have done. Because kissing JP scared me but having dinner with his parents and hanging out alone in his house that terrified me.

Still if he had wanted to ask me out why was he so shocked when I kissed him?

Oh and Michael still hasn't replied. I don't know what I would say back to him if he did. I guess I still feel a little guilty.

The worst part was that mom said if I am well enough to kiss JP I am well enough to go to school tomorrow.


	10. Chapter 10

**Thursday 1st October, The loft**

If you thought that yesterday was a strange day is was nothing to what happened today.

So I got to school this morning and I got bombarded with questions.

"Are you ok??? I tried to call you last night!!!" Said Tina

"Yeah you like totally freaked out the whole school is talking about it" said Lana, it sounds harsh but I'm pretty sure that was Lana's way of being concerned.

"I am glad that you are ok" said Boris, he is so sweet.

I was really glad to find out that JP was away for the day. He had some family thing going on. I mean I hope that everything is OK but I don't think I could have handled telling everyone about me and him just yet.

I can't believe my mom made me face this after the day that I had yesterday. SHE IS EVEN MADE ME GO TO PRINCESS LESSONS! I just tried to shrug it all off and say that I was just tired and still getting over my bronchitis. This seemed to calm most people, Tina was still a bit concerned but she moved on to trying to find out what me and JP were talking about when it happened.

Only I couldn't tell Tina what had really happened because well Tina just wouldn't understand me dating a guy that I didn't love. That kind of thing just doesn't happen in Tinaland.

So anyway my day was going ok apart from people asking me if I was ok or yelling at me that I was crazy. It wasn't until lunch that my day started to just get strange.

So I was just sitting down to eat my lunch when who should come up to me but Lilly. This was the first time Lilly had even acknowledged my existence since the day she had blown up at me. But there she was looking right at me.

"What happened to you?" No joke that is what she said, After not talking to me for so long and completely humiliating me in front of everyone. She was just acting as though nothing had happened. What did she think I was just going to forgive her just like that?

She stood there for a while just waiting for me to reply but I guess she got that I wasn't going to from the fact that I just sat there with my mouth open staring at her. I wasn't the only one. The everyone else who was sitting at the table was staring too. So she started to talk.

"Look I saw you talking to JP and I don't know what happened but I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. I should have told you everything." I was a little confused by this apology but I was just so excited about the fact that Lilly was talking to me again. Not only that she had apologised to me. I just stood up and said.

"Lilly it doesn't matter I have been the worst friend ever. I am so sorry." Then the next thing I knew I was crying again for the second time in two days in front of the whole school but the crazy thing was I wasn't alone this time Lilly was crying well. She kept saying all this stuff about being sorry about not telling me.. and how she never wanted me to get hurt. I guess she was talking about the whole Michael thing. I think she is over reacting because I don't think I would have believed her if she had told me Michael was going to break up with me.

I was still crying when I got to G&T. I was telling Lilly how upset I was about Michael and everything that was going on with him. I didn't say anything about JP because I didn't want Lilly to hate me when we had only just started being friends again. And even if she has forgiven me for kissing JP once by accident I don't know if she would forgive me for the other times. 

"Lilly" I thought I if I didn't ask now I might never be able to "Why hasn't Michael written back? I mean he was the one that said we should be friends."

"How should I know? We don't talk about you Mostly when he calls he just asks what the weather is like. Though I don't know why he just doesn't check online." She said but she was kind of distracted, she is working to try and convince the school bored that this whole cell phone tower thing.

So then Lilly had to get back to work but she did ask me to come over on Friday night for a sleep over. I said yes and it wasn't until school finished that realised that Friday was the night I was supposed to have dinner at JP house. I couldn't cancel on Lilly because I mean we she only just started talking me and I couldn't cancel on JP because I had been so awful about everything. 

oh my god my life is just so hard. And if you think this is the worst of it wait until you here what happened when I went with Grandmere.

I am so not emotionally ready to deal with all this. I am still so fragile!!!!!

When I got to the Four Seasons I was freaking out because of the fact that I had made plans with both Lilly and JP on the same night and I couldn't cancel on either of them. Lars suggested that I tell them both that I am sick so I couldn't possible go to either then I am being far to both. But then I am letting them both down so I can't possibly do that but I guess Lars was just trying to help.

Well Grandmere took one look at me and said.

"Alight Amelia what is the matter now? It's not that boy again is it because I thought that was over." She was her usual tactful self of course.

"Go on get it over and done with we have a lot to go through today." She had stopped doing drinking and even smoking and was just staring at me.

"It's nothing Grandmere I am just not feeling well." I tried to stop my nostrils from flaring but it obviously didn't work.

"You are lying Amelia now tell me what is wrong." She was staring at me in a way that made me feel like she was looking inside my head to find the truth.

"I made some plans with JP on Friday and I totally forgot about it when Lilly asked me if I wanted to hang so I said that I would." I shouldn't have told her but I was out of idea's and seeing as my mom's advice had got me into this mess and my dad is still not talking me I didn't really have anyone I could ask for advice.

"Oh Amelia I don't know why you make such a fuss about silly things. You will just simply tell your friend Lilly that you already had plans and perhaps you can reschedule. Your friend will understand and you simply cannot cancel on your dinner at the Reynolds-Abernathy's place for a silly little friend." She seemed to think that this was enough of a solution so she started to go on about her stupid party.

"Grandmere I cannot tell Lilly that I am going out with JP she has only just started talking to me again and the reason she wasn't talking to me was because of JP I couldn't possibly tell her that I am going on a DATE with him!!!" I was out of breath when I had finished saying this. So I had to gather my thoughts before I continued luckily Grandmere hadn't even looked up.

"And how Grandmere did you know that I was going to JP's house for dinner we could have been going out somewhere." I was freaking out as I said this, was the whole thing with JP all Grandmere's idea??

"His father called to ask if you had any dietary requirements as he had heard that you were a vegetarian. I told him that you would eat what you were given and not to worry because you had gottern over that sill faze anyway. Now we have important things to discuss." Said Grandmere.

Ok so that made sense but it still didn't solve my problem. What was I going to do about Lilly and JP.

"Weren't you listening Grandmere I can't tell Lilly about me and JP she would hate me again." I was trying to get across the seriousness of my problem.

"Sometimes you astonish me Amelia, have I taught you nothing. You smiley tell Lilly that you have prior engagement with me and that you cannot get out of it and she will understand and if not I will call her and tell her that this is the truth." Why can't I have a normal Grandmother not one that tells me to lie to my friends and sells me off at a ball to the highest bidder. But I had to admit she had a point, Lilly knows what my grandmere is like and she would get the whole me not being able to get out of it thing and if I told her over the phone she wouldn't be able to see my nostrils flaring.

"Now if we are done with this drama we have allot to get done. The first thing we are going to discuss is what you should wear to dinner tomorrow night. You will be excused from princess lessons tomorrow because you will need to undergo a full beauty treatment we will need to get a more thorough wax this time." said grandmere.

I was still a little distracted by the Lilly thing so I just kind of nodded and smiled. I did mention that I had therapy in the afternoon and she said that she would work around it. I didn't think she knew what he was talking about after therapy I would only have time to shower get dressed and go not for this whole body treatment she seemed to be cooking up.

After a while of her telling me all the things she had planned for me some of which scared me, like why do I need a bikini wax? She started to talk to me about something that really freaked me out.

"Now what we need to work on is how to lure a man." She said as if it was a normal thing for a grandmother to say.

"What" I said back "Grandmere I don't need to learn how to lure a man especially not from my grandmother." Ok I sort of screamed more then said. I could not believe my grandmother was trying to give me dating advice.

"I thought that we had more time but since things seemed to have progressed further with John Paul then we only have a little bit of time. I was not planning on getting into any of this until next week. " As she finished saying this she looked down at a list she had written, I can't believe it my grandmother writes out lesson plans for DATING!!! I was too shocked to speak.

"Do not just sit there with your mouth open you will never get a man like that. Now the first thing you need to know is the art of flirting."

And it went on from this and it got worse way worse. I had to block it from my memory forever when she started talking about how far you should let a guy go. As far as grandmere is concerned its pretty much as far as his wallet will take him. My grandmother was training me to be prostitute. I know she comes from a different time but honestly how much is a girl supposed to take.

I called my dad on my way home but all I got from him was.

"Mia if you are calling me to remind me about your therapy session tomorrow then I will try my best to make it but I can't promise anything. If you are calling about anything else then I do not want to talk about it!" With that he hung up the phone what if I had been dying or what if mom was in hospital?

But I also called Lilly.

Lilly: Oh hey Mia, what's up?

Me: Hey Lilly look I am really sorry but I my grandmother is making me do this stupid dinner thing tomorrow night so I won't be able to make it around. I tried to get out of it but you know what she is like.

Which was pretty smooth I thought.

Lilly: Yeah that's ok, wanna come over on Saturday my parents are going to Japan for a week to see how Michael is fitting in, I think its just an excuse to go away together and take there relationship to the next level because Michael is really too busy to do anything.

Me: Oh so Michael is really busy then.

Lilly: Well yeah he is trying to build a something that no one else has been able to do.

Me: Oh right, so you don't hear from him that often.

Lilly: Well he has only been gone a couple of weeks. I didn't really talk to him that much when he has here. So anyway are you cool to come to my party?

Me: It's a party?

Lilly: Yeah but don't freak out its not a collage party.

Me: Shut up Lilly anyway I should go. Will I see you at school tomorrow?

Lilly: Nah my parents are making me go with them to the airport, they want to feel like they feel bad about leaving me all along for a week.

So that didn't go as badly as I thought and now I know that Michael has been really busy which is probably why he has not written back, but still you would think he could have at least said something. Anything.

Now the only problem I have is I don't know if I want to go to JP's tomorrow night. And Grandmere is really starting to freak me out I mean at first I thought that this was all just a joke or it wasn't what I thought it was but its becoming clear that Grandmere's plan for next Friday night is to find me a husband.

At least there is no princess lessons tomorrow so I don't have to deal with it till Monday.

I should try to sleep I suppose.


	11. Chapter 11

**Friday 2nd October, Limo on the way to school**

So I decided to sneak my journal into school today, Lars is going to carry if for me. They won't take it off Lars on account of he being all big and having a gun. But I am only going to use it anywhere but at lunch oh and in G&T because that's not even a real class anyway.

I am having an emotion crisis I need to have something to comfort me until I can get to Doctor Knutz's office this afternoon.

**Friday 2nd October, English**

Ok I know I said I wouldn't write in my journal in class but this is an emergency and its english anyway I am supposed to be writing, it's not like I am writing in french.

So anyway when I was walking into school I ran into JP and instead of being like hey what's going on he gave me a kiss right there in front of everyone, OK so I was a bit late so most people had already gone inside but there were a few people. What if one of them tells Lilly??? If Lilly found out about me and JP she wold hate me again. I don't think that I can handle losing Lilly again.

I think he must have guess that I wasn't that into the kiss because he pulled away quickly.

"What's the matter? Your still coming to my house for dinner right." He had this look of desperation on his face as he said this.

"Of course I am JP, it's nothing we should get to class." He didn't start walking.

"Is this about Michael because I don't think you should worry about him, he was the one hat dumped you remember... and well he, nothing." he looked slightly guilty but I didn't pay much attention to what he was saying. I was looking at my watch and we were going to be late for class.

"It's not Michael, I think I am still a bit run down I had a long princess lessons last night." I smiled weakly then I just started to walk towards the entrance of the school. I know it seems kind of mean but ---------------------------------------

**Friday October 2nd, Principal Grupta's Office **

That's it I am never going to bring my journal to school again. I was just sitting there writing in my journal and I may have been a little distracted but who can blame me with all that's going on my life. Then I get told that I have to go to the principals office immediately.

This just sucks!

She is ready to see me now.

**Friday October 2nd, Limo with Grandmere**

I can't believe she did it again. I don't know who she thinks she is.

So I walked into Principal Grupta's office and who should I see sitting there but my grandmother. I didn't even entertain the idea that dad was sick because grandmere is that would mean that grandmere was actually doing the right thing. I new exactly what was going on I just could not believe it was happening.

You would think that nothing would surprise me with grandmere anymore. But still I never see it coming. Every time I think that she is human she goes a around and proves that she is just like that guy from the Devils Advocate.

So it turns out grandmere had told Principal Grupta that I had to go to the doctors office because they had got some test results that I had done on Wednesday and they needed to see me for more tests immediately. If I didn't know any better I would have started to freak out, but I know I didn't have any tests.

Well so maybe I started to freak out, maybe I did have meningitis after all. But then I thought why didn't my mom come and tell me. It just wasn't possible that grandmere would know something about my health that my mom didn't.

But Principal Grupta bought the hole story she told me to get better and she kind of looked at me like I was going to die. I wonder what grandmere told he that I had. 

Anyway do you want to know the real reason why grandmere told my principal that I was dying.

SHE IS TAKING ME FOR A BEAUTY TREATMENT. Because and I quote "how do you expect to lure a companion if you do not look your best." I'm sorry if I repeat myself by my grandmother is completely insane.

So now I have to spend the whole day with GRANDMERE getting WAXED! I'm sorry but man is worth that. Especially one that I am not even in love with.


	12. Chapter 12

**Friday 3rd November, Dr Knutz's office**

I have been picked and prodded so much I don't think that I have any hair left on my body and that's not even the last of it after my session with Dr Knutz I have to go and have my hair and make up done.

The worst part is that grandmere has got me a dress to wear and she is insisting that I wear it. I think that I am going to be a bit over dressed. But I suppose my day wasn't the worst it could have been. I mean seeing as I was getting all these treatments done to me I didn't have to spend much of my day with grandmere so it ended up being kind of relaxing... well apart from waxing and the plucking.

So I am now sitting here in Dr Knutz's office with my dad who is starting to look a little bit nervous and my grandmere who doesn't seemed phased at all. She is just sitting there with romel looking like the Meryl Streep in 'The Devil wears Prada.' Who I thought would have been a better image of Grandmere then the one they did in the movie about my life.

After the week I had I am going to have a lot to say to grandmere. He is calling me in now. I am going to go in by myself first and then dad and grandmere are going to join us.

**Friday October 3rd, Limo on the way to JP's house**

OK I know Grandmere has the wrong idea about all this but I have to admit she does have a way with dresses.

I am in this totally cute strapless (which I can wear now on account of my BOOBS that I have now). I think it might be a bit sexy for dinner with JP parents but still I have to say that I look hot! And my hair its got blonde high lights and its starting to grow out so it actually isn't looking to bad, and my make up isn't as over the top as I thought.

Therapy on the other hand was even worse then I could have imagined. Grandmere was nice, I mean she was scary children of the corn nice. She fully charmed Dr Knutz. I am just going to write everything directly as it happened because I don't it can be real.

So I walked in to Dr Knutz's office and he said his usual "How's your week been?" In his cheerful Cowboy way.

I just slumped on the couch. 

"MY GRANDMOTHER IS TRYING TO SELL ME TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER! That's right she is trying to find me her sixteen year old grandchild the richest husband she can. My dad wont talk to me on account of what you told me to do last week. Well I did it and now my dad is really angry. I also took your advice and Kissed JP and now I think we are dating because well I also talked to my mom about my life for the first time ever and she told me too and now I realise its never really going to work out because he will never me Michael. Lilly is talking to me again but I can't actually tell her the truth because if she found out I was dating JP she would hate me again. Oh and I wrote back to Michael a week ago and HE STILL HASN'T REPLIED!!!! And all of this is your fault so what am I supposed to do now???" I said all this in one breath I don't know how I did it I just had to get it all off my chest.

"Hmm" he replied "Why is it Mia that you feel the need to blame me for your problems."

"Because" I blinked "You told me to do it."

"I told you to do nothing Mia, I told you to do what you thought was right and you did, I never said that everything was just going to work itself out because it wont. It takes work, but you have done really well and you should be proud of yourself." He smiled as he said this.

"You country is free like you wanted it to be is it not?" said Dr Knutz.

"Well yeah but," I said back determined not to give him to his Jedi like mind tricks.

"You knew that there would be consequences for this did you not but still you chose to do it because you felt like it was the right thing to do" he continued. "You kissed this boy JP because you wanted to right?"

"Well yeah I guess." Oh no I was starting to fold.

"Was there something wrong with this kiss did you not enjoy it?" I could see him holding back a smile... He was making fun of me.

"No there was nothing wrong with it. I mean it was good I guess." It felt weird to say that to my therapist.

"Isn't it a good thing that your friend is talking to you again isn't it?" Again with the Jedi.

"Of course it is" I guess I could see where he was going. "Ok so maybe everything didn't turn out as bad as I thought. But Michael still hasn't written back"

"Remember how you felt the first time that Michael wrote to you after the break up?" said Dr Knutz.

"Well yeah," I was a little confused what did that have to do with Michael.

"Did you ever think that maybe he felt the same when he heard from you?" He looked at me intensely as he said this.

I never thought that Michael might be upset about the break up because he was the one that had done the breaking but maybe Dr Knutz was right. Maybe it will just take time for Michael to write back. I hope that is right because that means that he might still love me a little. I have to stop thinking like this. Me and Michael are over.

"Well now Mia, I understand you have bought your grandmother and your father with you tonight. Why don't we bring them in and see if we can work out some of the issues?" Said Dr Knutz as he stood to walk towards the door.

He went out of the room for a min then returned with Grandmere but no dad.

"Your father has been called away on urgent business he said he will have to make it another time." Said grandmere then she said down next to me.

"So your highness your granddaughter seems to think that you are trying to sell her like a common prostitute. What do you say to that?" I can't believe he said that he just jumped right in no how are you no how do you feel today just straight to your granddaughter dobbed on you.

I fully expected grandmere to just look at me with disgust and tell me that what she was doing was for my own good then pull me out of the office and forbid me from ever seeing that man again. She might even have had him killed. But instead she laughed... No joke she laughed.

"Oh I am terribly sorry Amelia has a way of inventing drama in her life where there is none and she does tend to paint me as the bad guy. But that is ok because I only want what is best for her. I do understand that the last thing a sixteen year old girl would want to do would be to hang out with her old fashioned grandmother." said Grandmere after she had stopped laughing. "I can't say that I don't enjoy the company, I don't get out as much as I used to and it has been hard all these years to only see my dear Mia once a year."

I cannot believe her this is one of the only times she has ever called me Mia and she even said I was dear. I don't think that anyone is dear to her she is pure evil. But what she did next just took the cake. She turned right too me and said.

"I am sorry Mia if you think that I am pressuring you, it is only because I want to best for you and I only wanted to through you this little party because I didn't know what else to do. You were so down about your break up Michael that I thought it might be nice to see that there were other fish in the sea." Said grandmere. I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE CALLED MICHAEL BY HIS NAME! Well I know the way she was saying it was wrong but I guess it makes sense that she would do something like that. I guess she is not pure evil she just doesn't understand what to do about things like that in this day and age.

Anyway the rest of the session pretty much continued on like that. I guess I feel better about the whole ball thing, I know she is just trying to be nice in her own twisted way and Tina is really looking forward to it so it wont be that bad. 

BUT I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE TRICKED DR KNUTZ INTO THINKING SHE WAS NICE! He is supposed to see through that sort of behaviour. I guess the dark side of the force is stronger then the light.

We are almost at JP I hope he doesn't kiss me, no wait maybe I do want him to kiss me.. I don't know.

Its too hard... I wish Dr Knutz had told me what to do.

**Saturday October 4th, 12.30am,The loft**

Well that wasn't as bad as I thought. JP was really sweet as usual and his parents weren't as bad as I thought they would be. I mean when I got to there house I was shocked by the size of it. I don't know why I was shocked I mean he is a broadway producer but still for anyone in this city to have that many bathrooms is just excessive especially when it is only for three people. Well and the staff, yes they have staff. I mean grandmere has staff but she is a Princess.

I kind of get the feeling that JP's dad would really like to be royal he did kind of bug me a bit about the whole making Genovia a democracy. But JP stepped in and made him stop which again was totally sweet of him. Every time I hang out with him he does something even sweeter then he did before.

The thing is with JP is that on paper, well maybe not on literally because not in my journal which is on paper but you get the idea. Well in theory he is the perfect guy for me. I mean he is everything I ever thought that the guy I would end up with would be like. But I guess it is kind of like how Fanny Price felt about Mr Crawford there is just still something about him that I don't trust after the whole Lilly thing.

Not that I think that he is going to run off with Lilly and ruin her reputation because he doesn't get any sex off me. But still I mean he did hurt Lilly so what's to stop him from hurting me? I don't think that JP is a bad person like Mr Crawford... Ok so maybe it is not the best metaphor.

Maybe I feel like Reese Witherspoon in Sweet Home Alabama you know like she is with this totally hot rich New York guy who everybody thinks is perfect for her. But all she really wants is the Southern guy she has always loved even though she can't really understand why. She says she wants to marry him so she can kiss him any time she wants. THAT IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL ABOUT MICHAEL. I just want to be able to kiss him. But unlike Reese I am not totally cute and rich so Michael doesn't even love me back. He doesn't even like me as a friend.

So anyway dinner at JP's went well, JP managed to steer the conversation away from anything that might have bothered me. Though he did say that he couldn't understand why I wouldn't want to be royal. I guess it's because he isn't and well also he is cute and actually talented, because apparently he has already gottern a grant for a book he is writing. He went all quiet when his parents mentioned it. He said that it was nothing. But I know he was just being modest but being a writer myself I knew that I shouldn't press to see it and that he would show me when it is ready. Still he said I could be the first to read it when he did all that though. HE IS SO SWEET!

Well anyway dinner was nice but then his parents had to go out, which I was not expecting. They had to go to some charity concert or event or something, which was weirs because you would think that Grandmere would have made me go, but I guess she is just excited I am dating anyone but Michael. So anyway after JP's Mom and dad left I started to freak out because Lars wasn't there I had never really been alone with any guy but Michael.

But it wasn't so bad he was really nice about it all. I said that I should call Lars, but he said that he promised to protect me. Then he suggested that we watch a movie. He even let me pick the movie. I picked Shawn of the Dead because that seemed to be the one that he really wanted to watch because he kept saying how good it was and how much i would like it.

It wasn't so bad, there was a bit too many zombies and not enough romance but it was kind of funny sometimes. And anyway he started kissing me pretty much at the start and we made out for most of the movie. He tried to get to second base a couple of times but I am still not ready for that. I don't think I am ready to have had anyone expect for Michael touch me like that. It was really nice kissing him. His neck still just smells like detergent but maybe you can't love the smell of every guys neck. He is a really good kisser so it wasn't bad.

After the movie he got me some frozen yogurt and we sat on his bed and talked. I don't know why I said it but it kind of slipped out that I was going to Lilly's house tomorrow night. When I said this JP looked really worried. He can be so sweet.

"Are you sure you think that it is right to hang out with her after the way she treated you??" Said JP with that worried look still on his face.

"It's all right" I said taking his hand. "Me and Lilly have been friends forever I can't just stop being friends with her because we had a fight besides I wasn't exactly the most supportive of her when she needed me. And I did break her brothers heart."

"Yeah but what about I mean is that something a friend would do" Jp pushed. He is always so concerned about me it is so sweet.

"And Michael broke your heart not the other way around. I just don't think that they deserve you." said JP. "Besides I don't think Lilly would want you to hang out with me."

"JP I am not going to let Lilly tell me who I can and can't hang out with. I will tell her about us tomorrow night." I lied. I just prayed he didn't see my nostrils flaring. I guess he didn't because after that he started kissing me again.

So then at 11.30 Lars came to pick me up which was kind of good because he was pushing to get to second allot more towards the end of the night.

And now I am sitting at home in a bedroom, I should be sleeping but I just can't. I am too wired about tonight. I guess that dating JP isn't as scary as I thought and the best thing is that JP said that he was OK with us keeping it a secret for a while just so that the press don't call me something nasty. So I don't have to worry about anymore before school kissing. But I still get to kiss him which is nice.

I am really bored... Maybe I will clean up my room.

**Saturday 3rd of October, early morning, The loft**

oh my god I have allot of stuff I am just wading through this huge pile of paper I have on my desk.

I found a whole bunch of receipts from when I went shopping with Lana. And a bunch of stuff I have ripped out of my school books. Mostly journal entries.

**Saturday, Five minutes later **

I just found the letter my mom told me about. It's not from Grandmere.

It's from JAPAN!!!!


	13. Chapter 13

**Saturday 4th October, Still Early Morning, The Loft**

oh my god! This letter is from Japan... Not the nation because I can see the writing on the front I know that writing. This is a letter from Michael.

I can't open it. I just can't. What if it is him saying that he wants me back? What am I going to do? I am dating JP now. What would JP say? I can't hurt JP he has been nothing but nice to me. But this is MICHAEL! The Michael. Ok well I don't know it's him but who else could it be writing to me from Japan.

Maybe its someone else. Maybe a fan has got my home address and wrote to me from Japan. Do I have Japanese fans????

What if it is Michael and he is just telling me that he has changed his mind and he doesn't want to be friends anymore????

I knew I should not have sent him that email I knew it! I don't know what came over me.

I can't deal with this I have to sleep...NO I have to open it I am never going to sleep until I open it.

What could Michael write to me in letter that he could not tell me over email or on the phone?? What could it be? I could just open it i suppose.

Oh dear I am going to open it... I feel just like Buffy when she found out that Angel had come to Sunnydale and he hadn't told her. I feel exactly like that I feel out of the loop. Why did Michael warn me that he was going to send me a letter? I don't even know when this was sent. How long does it take for mail to get her from Japan?

Oh god here goes...

**Saturday 4th October, Still early morning, The loft**

OH MY GOD!!!!

OH MY GOD!!!!

I - CAN'T - STOP - CRYING!

It wasn't some fanatic Japanese fan... It was Michael.

_Dear Mia,_

I really don't know how to say all this to you. Which is why I am writing this down? I know that by the time you get this you will probably hate me for what I have done to you, but I just had to tell you why. I know that I wont be able to tell you over the phone.

Mia, I love you. I think I always will. When I saw you kiss JP, I didn't hate you I hated me. I mean I hated myself for leaving you and at that moment I wanted to stay so that I would not have to leave you alone. That was when I realised that I had to end it.

I really have to do this, it's not just to prove myself to you and your family and well everyone else in the world but to prove to myself that I am something without you. I know that seems really selfish but I can't imagine myself without you and that scares me.

I knew that if I had seen your face and seen you smile I never would have been able to do it. So that is why I ran away from you.

I just wanted you to know that I don't hate you or blame you for what happened. I don't like JP though and when I get back I will be having a word with him. That being said I know that you have every right to date other people and in fact I hope that you do. Maybe then you will understand and be able to forgive me for the whole Judith thing. I know you don't understand it but that's because you have allot of growing up to do.

I just hope that we can stay friends and I hope that you don't forget about me or how much I love you more then anyone else every could (including JP). But at the moment we cannot be together because I need to concentrate and I can't spend all my time worrying about you, which I know I would.

I love you in spite of the fact that you are a princess and one day you will be mine. Until then I hope that you don't hate me because I don't think I could take it if you did.

Love

Your Michael

WHAT??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

I hate myself.

What am I going to do?


	14. Chapter 14

**Saturday, 2 am, the loft**

That's it I am going to Japan! I don't care what anyone says because...

MICHAEL STILL LOVES ME!!!!!

I have to tell him that I still love him and that I forgive him for the whole Judith thing. I completely get it, he is guy they are wired differently. He is from Mars I am from Venus. They are whole different planets not wonder we are different.

So I am packing my bags and I am going to Japan.

I sent Michael and email letting him know that I got his email. I didn't want him to think that I didn't love him. I didn't say I was coming Japan because I knew he would just tell me not to come. But I know I am doing the right thing.

This is what I sent...

Dear Michael,

I got your letter

Love,

Mia

I didn't know what else to write... but I think it gets the point across.

I better get back to packing, oh and I also have to work out how I am going to get to Japan. Maybe I will call Lilly. She always seems to know what to do.

**Saturday 2.30am, The loft**

WHY DO PARENTS NEVER UNDERSTAND ANYTHING????

My mom came into my room because I had woken Rocky. Its not my fault I needed to pack quickly.

She all like "what are you doing Mia?" and I was all like "I am going to Japan to tell Michael that I love him."

Then she made me stop packing and sit down on the bed.

"Mia you can't go to Japan, you and Michael broke up you need to except that." Said my mom.

"But mom" As I said this I handed her the letter that Michael had sent me. I had to show her or she would never understand. She took the letter and read it after she has finished she kind sunk back down onto the bed.

"Oh Mia I'm sorry, but I really don't think that you can go to Japan. You have school and your father would never let you." Mom said this as she looked at me. "And I'm quite sure that Michael did not mean for you to go all the way to Japan." 

"But mom" I cried. "Michael said that he loves me. I have to go tell him how I feel. Then we can bet back together. I have to do something big to make up for everything. Some big romantic gesture haven't you ever seen the movies."

"Mia" my mom was starting to sound a bit mad. "This is not the movies, this is real life. Regardless of what Michael said in this letter you are still broken up. I don't mean to be harsh Mia but it is two am in the morning and I need to sleep. You cannot go to Japan because I will not let you and I have your passport. You can't leave the country without my permission. Now I suggest you get some sleep and you can hate me as much as you like in the morning." With that she got up and walked out.

I CAN'T BELIEVE MY MOM! Is she not a woman how can she not see how romantic this is??? I can't wait to speak to Tina she would understand.

I don't care what my mom says, I am going to call my dad he will understand. He knows what it is like to lose your one true love. He will respect me going to Japan to get Michael back!!!! I'll call him later in the morning so that I can get him in a good mood.

I don't know how I am sleep because MICHAEL LOVES ME!!!

He loves me... He loves me... He loves me!!!

**Five Minutes Later**

Wait what does he mean when he says he loves me??? Does he loves me like he is in love with me or does he love me like a friend???

Maybe he was just saying that he loves me like a friend.

oh my god!!!


	15. Chapter 15

**Saturday 4th October, 7.30am, the loft**

You would think that my father of all people would understand the desperation of finding your last chance at happiness and telling them how you feel. But no that would mean that he had a heart.

So I got tired of waiting for it to be a decent hour. I called my dad. He was already up but he is a morning person.

"Dad," I said. "I need to go to Japan to tell Michael that I still love him."

There was silence for a bit then my dad gave a big sigh, I thought that this was a good sign. It turns out it wasn't.

"Mia you cannot go to Japan." Said my dad sounding really tired. "Apart from the fact that you have school, I simply cannot justify the expense. I have to go back to Genovia next week and try to clean up the mess that you made anyway."

I can't believe this.

"But dad Michael is my one true love and because I am such an idiot he has moved to the other side of the world and he doesn't know how much I love him. If I don't tell him I might lose him forever. Because even though he says that he will always love me how can I be sure if he doesn't think that I love him." I cried as I said it, why wouldn't anyone understand how important this is.

"I am sure that Michael knows that you still love him" replied my dad. "Did he ask you to come to Japan specifically?"

"Well no" I said defensively. "Not exactly, but I don't know what else to do dad!"

"Look Mia I really don't have time to deal with this. Why don't you talk to your mother about it? Or maybe you should call Michael and talk to him and maybe and I am not making any promises but maybe we could talk about you visiting him in your Christmas Break. You will still have to talk to your mother about it." Said my dad, I think he was eating breakfast as he was saying this. "Now I have to go."

"Fine" I replied "goodbye."

So that was it at least he was a bit more understanding then my mom. He did say I might be able to visit Michael at christmas time. That's just too far away, I can't wait that long I need to see him now before he thinks that I have moved on and moves on himself and then he will only love me as a friends if he doesn't already.

So now I have no more options. Well except for one but there is no way that will work. I can't do that. Oh my gosh I am going to have too.

I am going to have to call grandmere.


	16. Chapter 16

**Saturday 3rd October, 8 am, the loft**

I love Grandmere, I can't believe I am actually saying this but I do. I love Grandmere. Granted it isn't the exact result I was hoping for but it better then nothing.

"Hi Grandmere" I said in my best french.

"Oh Amelia I was wondering when you were going to call." Said Grandmere in a rush. "We have allot to discuss am I to understand that you saw it."

How did Gradmere know about the letter? Maybe my dad had told her I only got of the phone with him a little while ago but I suppose he could have called Grandmere and told her. Maybe he is starting to understand and he is telling Grandmere to work out a way for me to go to Japan. 

"Well yeah I saw it that's why I am calling." I said back still a little confused. "Grandmere I have to go to Japan to see Michael." I was hoping for her to understand but I didn't expect it. I suppose I should have made up some story but there was no worries because I guess Grandmere does love me after all.

"Well I had not thought about that." She paused after she said this saying something to someone else, I don't know who and I don't care because of what she said next. "Yes that would probably work quite nicely though we will not be able to do it before the ball on Friday that is unfortunate but we could get it to the press that you are going to Japan to visit that boy. We will go to the travel agent today." Then she said something to whoever it was that was there with her. It might have been her maid.

"Thank you Grandmere that you so much." I couldn't believe my luck. "But my mom has my passport and she says I can't go because I have school." I remember what my mom had said there was no way that my mom was going to let me go to Japan for a week while school was on.

"Nonsense Amelia," replied Grandmere. "I will talk to your father and he will get your passport from your mother. Surely you can miss one week of school for the good of your future? Now I will be there to pick you up in at ten. Good bye Amelia."

"Bye Grandmere" I said as she hung up the phone.

THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER!!! I HAVE THE GREATEST GRANDMOTHER EVER!!!

I mean Grandmere can be a bit strange sometimes but she really came through for me. Well I better get ready. I don't know why we are going to a travel agent because wouldn't we just take the royal jet. Even if we were booking a flight wouldn't she get someone to do it. Oh well it doesn't matter because I am going to see Michael tell him that I love him and everything is going to go back to normal.

**Saturday October 3rd, Just a bit later**

Well this was all too good to be true wasn't. How could I ever think that my life could actually go that well. How could I think that Grandmere was actually doing something selfless?? I really am just stupid.

Well I got off the phone to Gradmere and decided that I had better get some breakfast well I went downstairs and turned on the telly because now that I can't watch Tv in my room I need to get my fix elsewhere. What was the first thing I saw when I turned on the news.

It was me, more specifically it was me kissing JP good night!

Now this freaked me out in a couple of ways. One was that in my fit of passion after receiving Michael's letter I had completely forgotten about JP and two is that there is footage of JP kissing ME!!! It's on the news. Michael is going to see this! 

HE IS NEVER GOING TO FORGIVE ME OR LOVE ME AS MORE THEN JUST A FRIEND AGAIN!!!

I was glued to the television I couldn't look away. Mr G just came out of the bathroom and said good morning but I could't even reply. I continued to watch and then they had footage of JP's parents on the red carpet of whatever Charity event they had gone to and they were saying things like, "We are so lucky our son has found a girlfriend as wonderful as Mia." They even let slip that I was at there home with JP at that very moment which must have been how they had got the footage of me kissing Jp goodnight. 

This was what Grandmere had meant when she has said did I see it. This whole segment made it look as though me and JP were engaged to be married. There were interviews with people from school saying that we are always hanging out together. There was even a freshman saying that he had seen us kissing on the way into school and that it had looked like true love.

This was the worst thing that could ever happen to me. Now I really had to go to Japan and I could not possibly wait for a week. Michael will think that I have moved on and then he will move on.

Why does this always happen to me? What being a freak of a princess isn't enough?

Mr G was just as shocked by what he had seen on the TV but he managed to go and try to wake my mom up while I just ran and found my journal and started to write this. I don't think that my life could possibly get any worse.

THIS IS THE WORST DAY EVER!


	17. Chapter 17

**Saturday, Still Morning, The loft**

Ok so when I said that my life could not get any worse, boy was I wrong.

I was sitting there staring at the television watching my life go down the drain when the phone rang. I wasn't surprised it would probably be Tina telling me how cool it was that I was on TV. I just couldn't face her at the moment. So I told Mr. G to tell who ever it was that I in the shower.

I guess he didn't hear me because he yelled to me "Mia, it's for you."

I was like how does he expect me to talk to anyone when I am in the state that I am in.

"Tell them I can't come to the phone!" I yelled back.

"Mia" said Mr. G, "I really think you should take this call." He sounded really serious so I got up and went to the phone because I thought maybe it was Grandmere and I couldn't expect Mr. G to deal with her.

"What" I yelled into the phone in a less then polite way. I wanted Grandmere to know that I was not in the mood for a chat.

"Mia" said a familiar voice.

It wasn't Grandmere it was Michael...

I didn't know what to do I just sat there in silence. I was not ready to talk to Michael yet. I didn't know how to explain the whole JP thing. I thought I at least had until I got to Japan before I would have to deal with it. What was I supposed to say? This was the love of my life and I had betrayed him in the worst possible way.

"Are you alright?" Said Michael, I didn't understand how he could care if I was alright after everything I had done to him. I still couldn't bring myself to speak so I just sat there on with the phone to my ear willing everything to be alright.

"I got your email" he sounded nervous.

What email??? The one I replied to his or the one I sent last night??? Maybe he didn't know about the JP thing yet. Maybe he was just calling to make up with me... Oh No what will he says when he see's the news and we have made up he will think I am cheating on him. I am the most horrible person in the world. Hitler would have thought I was a bad person.

"Look Mia, about the letter" he sounded really nervous now. I guess I didn't help because I still had said anything. I was still just hyperventilating into the phone. "I should never have sent it."

WHAT!!!!! He didn't mean it??? Expect I didn't just say this in my head. I said it to Michael. I guess my voice had finally come back.

"Mia" he sounded really upset now. "I am really sorry. When I sent that letter I was really upset, I had just got to Japan I was home sick and I was missing you."

"So you didn't mean it," I said trying to hold back to tears. I had hidden my tears from him so far I didn't want him to hear them now.

"Of course I meant it" he said but he didn't sound very sure of himself.

"But I also meant it when I said that we should just be friends. I don't want you to feel obligated to me in anyway. I know that sending that letter might have made you think that you were in some way still obliged to wait for me."

I didn't quite understand what he was saying but I could feel my heart breaking again like it had the last time Michael had called. I couldn't hold the tears back this time, they just started to pour out. The wet season had just begun. But I kept sitting there waiting for something to happen.

"Mia" said Michael, maybe I could just hear myself but it sounded like he was crying. "Mia, I'm not trying to hurt you. I hate myself for sending that letter. I don't want you to feel guilty for anything you might do while I am away. I guess I don't to hurt you with anything I might do while I am here.

It's going to be a while and well you said that you were ok with just being friends so I thought that you were ok and that you understood. I should have called you when you depressed but I didn't know what to say to you."

There was no doubt about it he was crying. Not in a girly way or and insane river way like me. But his voice was all croaky and he was breathing really loudly.

I could not believe what he was saying to me. He was breaking up with me all over again. WHAT DOES HE MEAN??? He said he didn't want to hurt me. Has he met someone else I bet he has met someone else. Oh god I can't do this. After everything that has happened to me I just can't do this.

I started to think about everything that had happened to me. I had been told I was a princess, I had been forced to have princess lessons. My mom dated, married and had the baby of my algebra teacher. My first kiss was the worst kiss I had ever had. I had been forced to perform in a musical I did not want to. I am forced to spend my holidays in Genovia and my best friend hates me for no reason.

But when I thought about everything that had happened that was good I realized. That every time I had done something that I wanted and not just what I was told something good had happened. Like when I sent Michael those love notes or when I brought democracy to Genovia. This was what Doctor Knutz meant, I mean I knew he wanted me to stand up for myself but I finally get it. Every bad thing that has happened to me because I let people tell me what to do and I never stand up for myself.

That's it no more miss nice girl!

"Are you there Mia? Say something please," said Michael.

"What was I supposed to say? " I said with my new found confidence. "You said you just wanted to be friends. Was I supposed to beg you to reconsider. I didn't want to be that girl Michael and mostly I didn't want to upset you. But you don't seem to understand, I love you Michael and I would have waited for you. I would have waited until the end of time just like the Beauty would have waited for the Beast. But now I don't see the point."

I waited for him to reply he didn't, I didn't like the silence so I just kept on talking.

"I just can't take it anymore. Michael I don't know if you have seen the news but today has not been a very good day for me." I said I little angrier then I wanted to be.

There was silence for a moment then Michael said "I saw the news, why do you think that I am calling you in the middle of the night. Yeah I saw the news and it hurt. But it would have hurt more if we had still been together." He sounded kind of angry.

"You broke up with me Michael. Nothing would have happened with JP if you hadn't have broken up with me." I said I was started to get mad as well.

"You broke up with me first" he said. "AND THEN YOU KISSED HIM! So don't try to tell me that nothing would have happened between you two because it did and it will again. He's been in love with you since he first started hanging out with you. I could see it, everyone could see it, and even Lilly could see it even though she didn't want to believe it."

"I would have noticed if he had been in love with me" I screamed. "You're just angry because JP is a nice guy who was there for me when you weren't."

"Everything I did I did for you," said Michael quietly. "I'm sorry Mia." Then he hung up the phone. I can't believe it. Michael and I have never yelled at each other like that. I got angry when I found out about the Judith thing. But this was different. I hadn't really wanted to hurt him with the things that I said. I just hated him.

I hated him for leaving me. I hated him for seeing me kiss JP. I hated him for sleeping with Judith and for not understanding how important it was. I hated him because I couldn't see him and hug him and smell his neck. Because as much as I hated him I still wanted that, I wanted him to be here and hug me and tell me that it would all be alright. I hated that he still loved me and I hated that he was right, we can't do this while he is away. We should just be friends. But now I had ruined even that.

He thinks that I don't understand, but I do. I just wish there was another way. Please can't there be another way. I guess that I can stand up for myself all that I want and sometimes things still won't work out. I still love Michael and I think that Michael still loves me, what if love is not enough?

Oh no the phone is ringing again, maybe it's Michael.


	18. Chapter 18

**Saturday, Limo with Grandmere**

I should really stop thinking that my life is as bad as it can get because after that conversation with Michael I did not think that it could get any worse.

It wasn't Michael calling... it was Lilly and she was not happy.

"Michael," I said hopefully into the phone as I answered it.

"Are you the biggest moron in the world" said Lilly. "Why would Michael call you after everything you have done to him? No wonder he broke up with you. I would have too if I had known you would have fallen for every bit of flattery that is said to you."

"What are you talking about Lilly," I said. "I am not in the mood to deal with this. I have had a really bad day. DIDN"T YOU SEE THE NEWS!"

"I SAW THE NEWS!!!" Yelled Lilly. "I saw you kissing the vilest human being in the world. I saw you betraying me on national television. I just can't work out why you did it. I thought that you had figured it out. I thought that you could finally see. If I didn't hate you for what you had done to me I would feel sorry for you."

"Lilly, I'm sorry but JP is your ex boyfriend, and Michael did break up with me. So you have no right to go mad at me because I am dating JP. He is nice to me and he cares about me unlike some people. Lilly I am not just going to stop doing something because you don't want me too. I am sick of people telling me what to do. I am sick of trying to make everyone happy but myself. Well that's it Lilly I don't care what you or your brother think about it I am going to date JP because I like him and he loves me. It is of no business of my ex best friend and my EX boyfriend." I yelled into the phone and then hung up before Lilly could say anything back. How is that for assertive!

But that's it, I am walking on egg shells because my best friend stopped talking me and my boyfriend broke up with me. Neither of these things are my fault. They are the ones with the issues. Michael's right, I shouldn't have to wait for him. He was the one that walked out on our relationship. He was the one that left me and moved half way around the world.

Lilly made a website dedicated to hating me for something that I did not do. I did kiss her EX boyfriend but that was totally an accident. And her brother was the one that broke up with me he left me to go to a whole other country and even he said that I shouldn't wait for him.

It's totally not my fault that JP liked me and not her. I am starting to think that it is a good thing that Lilly and I aren't friends anymore. All she ever did was push me around and as soon as I started to assert myself she started getting all stropy. She is just angry because I am not her little pawn anymore. I refuse to listen to anyone anymore. From now on I am my own person, I free person for once.

The first one to go is Grandmere. She showed up at my house like she said she would and got all angry because I was not ready to leave. Well excuse me if I had more important things to worry about then an appointment with a travel agent. I tried to tell ask why we had to go to a travel agent to start with. I thought that we weren't aloud to fly commercial. But she would have a bar of it. 

Anyway the phone was still ringing off the hook so I was kind of glad of an excuse to leave the house. After the last two phone calls I had had I was not so keen to answer the phone. So I got dressed, and went out with Grandmere. She still won't tell me where exactly we are going. All I know is she is not forcing me to do anything anymore.

Wait why are all these people here???

**Saturday, Limo on the way back to the loft**

Ok so Grandmere is totally mad at me and maybe it wasn't the best idea to try out my new found assertiveness in front of all that press but it was her fault for not telling me that I was walking into a press conference.

I don't why I thought that Grandmere might actually care about me and Michael and might want to help us. Now I think she really just wants me to be unhappy because she is turning against JP. I thought she loved JP. So anyway we got to this 'travel agent' and the limo was surrounded by people. I thought there must be some kind of celebrity there. I know it seems silly but I still think it's weird that all of these people would be there to see me. 

But it turns out that they were, and you can guess who had tipped them off that I would be there. Who else could it be but the single most evil person in the world? I new believe that she kept Hitler out of Genovia when she was only two years old because I bet she was scary back then as well. So I walked out of the Limo into a trap.

"WHAT'S GOING ON GRANDMERE?" I said through gritted teeth.

"Oh Amelia don't be silly, I am trying to take the focus away from your little tryst last night. Now will you just smile and get out of the car you can yell at me all you like when we are done. Besides I thought you wanted to go and see that boy." Grandmere said as she got out of the limo pulling me with her.

There was all this flashing and people screaming questions at me as Lars pulled us through the crowd to the front of the building. Then Grandmere turned and faced the crowd.

"Hello" she said as if she had just noticed that they were there. Then she pointed at one of the reporters.

"Is it true Princess" said the reporter everyone else listening intently. "That you are dating John Paul the famous Broadway producer's son."

I opened my mouth to speak but instead it was Grandmere's voice I heard.

"Amelia is a young woman, a princess you cannot expect her to tie herself down to one man. Her and John Paul are just good friends." Grandmere smiled pointing to another one of the reporters a woman in a bright pink coat this time.

"Excuse me" I said before I could stop myself. "But actually JP and I are a couple. It's only a recent development but I have nothing to be ashamed of in dating him."

Everyone looked shocked and the flashes were going off in every direction. They were all trying to get a photo of Grandmere's face. I don't like to humiliate her well ok maybe I do a little but she is my Grandmother but she needs to learn that I am my own woman and that she cannot control me anymore.

"Are the rumors of his book true" said the girl in the pink coat.

"Yes," I said with a smile on my face. I was glad that JP was getting something out of this mess maybe his book will become a best seller. "I am extremely proud of him and I hope to follow in his footsteps myself one day."

Because it had got me thinking, if JP can have a book published then why can't I. Surely everyone would want to read a book by a princess. I guess I should get off my butt and start writing. Oh the look on Grandmere's face just got better and better.

"If you have just started a new relationship then why are you going to Japan? Isn't that were your last boyfriend went?" Said another gentleman reaching though the crowd.

"I am not going to Japan, my grandmother simply got confused. Me and Michael are just friends." I felt my heart skip when I said this. But he was the one that broke up with me. 

"Good friends," I added. "He has a lot of good work to do and he should be focusing on that at the moment." After that I smiled and walking into the building which wasn't travel agent after all. Lars had to practically carry Grandmere in.

"Grandmere, you can't do that to me anymore. You no longer control my life." I said in the nicest way possible.

"I was only trying to help Amelia," she said pulling herself up. "But if you wish to control your life yourself I shall stop trying to help and I will leave it to you. I expect you will be bringing John Paul to my ball on Friday." She is amazing I finally manage to upset her and she is over it and back to her usual self in no time.

"Well I hadn't actually thought about it." I said because I hadn't, I mean I had only just admitted that I was dating him. I didn't even know if he wanted to be my boyfriend or even my date for this stupid ball. I mean I am pretty sure he likes me, a lot but I just don't know. I kind of started to feel bad about announcing all this stuff about us without even talking to him about it. But I have decided I am going to go and see him tonight and we can talk about all that. 

So anyway Grandmere talked about her stupid ball some more for a while and then we snuck out the back and now I am on my way back home. I am sure that my dad is going to be really mad at me but I don't care anymore.

I probably should not have said all that stuff to the reporters. I defiantly should not have talked about JP's book. Maybe he didn't want anyone to know about it yet. But I all I can think about is that this will show Michael for leaving me. He will have to come home if he wants to get me back.


	19. Chapter 19

**Saturday Afternoon, The loft  
**

I had a busy day, I spent the whole day on the phone. I got back from my outing with Grandmere and Mr. G had just picked up the phone as I walk in the door. I didn't even have time to sit down when he like "Mia it's for you, its Tina."

I knew that Tina would be supportive of my decisions so I answered it.

"Hey Tina," I said.

"Oh My God Mia! What happened to you?" Screamed Tina into the phone. "I thought you didn't really like JP. Are you really dating him? What was it like at his house last night? Have you heard from Lilly she's really mad she uninvited Boris and I to her party tonight. oh my god WHAT WILL MICHAEL SAY???" She said all of this really fast and without taking a breath so she had to stop for a minute to so that she wouldn't faint.

"Michael called me, this morning, before I went out and said all that stuff about JP. We had a huge fight. And well I guess I do like JP, he's there for me and Michael sure isn't. I don't know if we are really dating. I mean we haven't really talked about it. I was going to call him and maybe see if we could talk tonight." I said this slowly because it was all still so unreal to me.

"Oh that's great, you too are sooo cute together, and don't worry about Michael he will be ok. I am so happy for you." Said Tina and I new she really meant it. Because Tina would be happy for me as long as I am happy and she thinks that JP will make me happy. I guess maybe he could. He always manages to make me feel better.

"You should call him and then call me back and tell me everything." Then she hung up, I guess she was too excited to say goodbye. She was right though I needed to call JP.

I was still really scared that he would be all like, why did you say I was your Boyfriend, I'm not. Or that he would hate me for telling people about his book. I wonder what it's about.

So I called JP, and he wasn't mad in fact he was worried that I would hate him because his parents told the press that I was at his house. He is so sweet I didn't even have to ask about tonight because he suggested that I come round to his because his parents were away for the night so they wouldn't be able to give us away.

I called Tina back and she decided that she should come round and help me decide what to wear. Tina and I decided that it would be best not to tell my mom or Lars that JP's parents wouldn't be home. That way we could have the time to ourselves.

My dad called as well but I told him that I was too busy to deal with his stuff and that he would have to deal with it himself and then I hung up on him. That should show him for not caring about me because he was too busy.

So now I am just waiting for Tina to come round so that I can start getting ready to go round to JP's house. I might check my emails.

**Five Minutes Later**

I AM SO MAD!!! How dare he? How dare he do this to me???

I had a lot of emails, I guess that most people have seen the news, but there was one that stood out.

It was from Michael.

Mia,

I think you should watch who you trust. Listen to Lilly she's right. You shouldn't trust him. I just don't want you to get hurt. Please just watch yourself and don't do anything irrational. 

Love,

Michael

How dare he?? I mean he was the one that called up and told me that I shouldn't wait for him and then he goes and tells me that I can't hook up with someone because he doesn't like him!

What right does he have? And then he signs it love like I am just going to forgive him just like that and love him all over again. Well it's not going to work. I am going to show him that I am not just going to forgive him and sit here waiting for him because he tells me too.

I have spent most of my teenage life doing everything I can for Michael and all I ever wanted in return was to be able to smell his neck. But he couldn't even do that for me. He had to move all the way to the other side of the world. Where there is no chance that I can smell his neck. And then he breaks up with him because we need to grow up. Well I will show him who is grown up.

I am so grown up that I am going to write a novel and I don't even need my journal anymore. I am going to throw it out. It's all about him anyway and I don't care about him anymore so why do I need it.

I have to focus on my novel anyway. If both Lilly and JP can write a novel in high school then I should be able too.

I'm going to JP's house because I choose to not because I have permission to do so.

GOODBYE JOURNAL!


	20. Chapter 20

**Monday 5****th**** October, English**

_How was JP's??? – Tina_

It was ok, well it was pretty good I guess – Mia

_I tried to call you all day yesterday but you weren't home??? – Tina_

Well me and JP hung out, we were catching up on chemistry homework. Because Kenny can't be our Lab partner anymore because we can't be trusted to control him. – Mia

_OMG, so are you officially a couple now or what??? –Tina_

I think we are, it's kind of weird to call someone else my boyfriend though – Mia

_I know, it totally freaked me out when I first started dating Boris after Dave, I felt like I was cheating on him but you'll get past that – Tina_

I guess but he's a really good kisser – Mia

_You will, so tell me everything. What was he wearing? Did you tell him about your journal?? Was he OK with the whole announcing your relationship to the press thing?? Is he going to go with you to the ball on Friday?? OH I totally found the cutest dress every to wear. – Tina_

Tina I really have to concentrate now that I am getting serious about my writing career. But yeah he was cool with it all, he's really sweet. So what's your dress look like?? – Mia

_Wait till you see it, it's like this kind of golden yellow with light pink bits all through it. It's got really small straps and it's got a beaded bodice with a kind of a full skirt. Maybe more like A line… anyway it's totally hot! – Tina_

Wow that sounds awesome. Anyway I really have to concentrate I'll talk to you about it more at lunch. – Mia

_I still can't believe you threw out your journal. – Tina_


	21. Chapter 21

**Wednesday October 7****th****, English**

oh my god that was so sweet of Boris this morning. To buy you flowers for like no reason. – Mia

_Yeah it was pretty sweet of him. But it wasn't really for no reason. – Tina_

What was it about then??? OH MY GOD DID YOU GUYS DO IT????? I thought that we were waiting until Prom! – Mia

_Mia, we so didn't do it. I am not going to break the bond that the two of us made. Sister for ever!!! Unless there was a totally good reason like Boris going away to join an orchestra in Japan or something. – Tina_

Well then why the flowers? Did you guys have a fight? – Mia

_Well don't get mad because I know you have been really busy and upset and stuff but he got me flowers for my birthday. But it's OK that you forgot because you have been going through and emotional trauma and all. And with the whole JP thing, I understand that you're a little preoccupied. – Tina_

oh my god!!!!!! TINAAAAAAA! I am the worst friend ever! I can't believe I forgot your birthday. I am so going to make it up to you. We will go out on Friday and have a totally awesome girls night out! – Mia

_Friday's your grandmother's ball. But it's ok really Mia. Boris is taking me out for a romantic dinner tonight. – Tina_

Tina I feel so bad. I am going to make it up to you I promise. – Mia

I will not pass notes in class.  
I will not pass notes in class.  
I will not pass notes in class.  
I will not pass notes in class.  
I will not pass notes in class.  
I will not pass notes in class.  
I will not pass notes in class.  
I will not pass notes in class.  
I will not pass notes in class.  
I will not pass notes in class.  
I will not pass notes in class.  
I will not pass notes in class.  
I will not pass notes in class.  
I will not pass notes in class.  
I will not pass notes in class.

**Wednesday 7****th**** October, Chemistry**

JP I am the worst person ever! I totally forgot Tina's Birthday – Mia

_Well you have been preoccupied. Namely with me, and who could blame you I am adorable. – JP_

JP this isn't funny, I have let my best friend, my rock, the one person who is always there for me down. – JP

_Mia I am sure that Tina will forgive you, you are aloud to stuff up sometimes. And I thought that I was your rock? – JP_

I just feel so rotten, and I said that I would make it up to her but I don't know how I can. I don't want to lose her as a friend – Mia

_You are not going to lose Tina as a friend, and why don't you get her an awesome present. How about a dance with Prince William at the ball on Friday I hear that Tina's a big fan. Though I'm sure Boris would never forgive you. What a dilemma?? – JP_

Stop making fun of me, do you know what we are supposed to be doing anyway? – Mia

_No idea, too bad Kenny's not here to do the work for us. I wonder if we get marks for our chemistry, because I know an experiment that we could do. – JP_

Stop it I need to figure out what to do for Tina, I can't do anything on Friday because of the stupid ball. We could do Saturday but everyone will be all tired and stuff from the ball. – Mia

_We could always go out after the ball? – JP_

Oh yeah Lars is going to be ok with going out at midnight. And I don't think my dad would let me even let me and there is no way that Tina's dad would. – Mia

_OK let's get this started. Oh and do you want to come round after school tonight. – JP_

_­_I can't I have to go to Princess Lesson's Grandmere is still teaching me how to lure a man – Mia

_Well you clearly don't need that lesson, I'll give you a note. – JP_

Shut up JP, we need to work. – Mia


	22. Chapter 22

**Friday 9****th**** October, Bathroom, the Ball **

I know I said that I threw my journal but I just couldn't do it. I did have every intention to never use it again but this is totally an emergency.

Why you might ask am I yet again hiding sitting in a bathroom writing in my journal??? Well because I hate my Grandmere of course. She goes and does it again. I mean why she couldn't have done this last week or last month, I just don't get it. She just wants to make my life a living hell.

This is supposed to be my night, I was actually happy, and I was starting to look forward to it. This is the like the first time that I have ever looked forward to anything Grandmere has made me do but I was.

I was making my grand entrance JP on my arm actually feeling ok with the fact that everyone eyes were on me. All my friends were there and I had a totally hot date. When I first walked out I new that something was wrong. Tina had this look on her face like she was trying really hard to look calm when she clearly wasn't.

At first I thought that she was just feeling nervous in sympathy of me because she had known how nervous I was. Then I saw that everyone around her kind of looked nervous. Except for Lana she never looks nervous she was looking around with Trish as if picking out which guys she was going to go for.

It wasn't until I saw my mom's face, yes my mom is at a ball, that I started to think that something might actually be wrong. She had the same kind of nervous look on her face but there was something else. She also seemed really mad, and not just mad because she was wearing pantyhose she looked really mad and she was trying really hard to hide it.

That's when I started to freak out, I mean my mom had been invited but I didn't think she would come. Let alone actually get dressed up. What made me really nervous was that all the anger was pointed in one direction, right at Grandmere.

I looked around the room for Grandmere to see what she could have possibly done that made my mom so mad. As I was looking my eyes fell on someone else. Not just because he looked really out of place in a brown pinstriped suit amongst all the black tuxedos. No it was because standing there in front of me was Michael.

MICHAEL IS HERE!!! HERE IN NEW YORK!!! Not in Japan but here at this very ball looking totally cool and even more wonderful then I can remember.

I guess this is a measure of how far I have come because instead of freaking out in front of everyone, I held it in. I did my duty though I don't know why I owe Grandmere anything. She new that Michael and I had broken up, she new how much that had hurt me.

I don't know how I managed to hold it together. It might have been because JP and Michael were looking at each other in a rather violent way. So I quickly steered JP away from Michael and up to the podium where I proceeded to welcome the guest for coming I even managed to thank Grandmere for organizing it.

It got even worse because the music started and everyone waited for me to be the dance floor guinea pig. So I had to walk out on to floor my hand in JP's, he was holding it really tight it kind of hurt. I guess he was nervous as well, and then I had to dance with JP in front of everyone in front of Michael.

As soon as the song finished I excused myself because I was about to be ambushed by a bunch of sympathizers, the love of my life and my boyfriend. I walked very swiftly towards Lars who already new what I why. He had my journal in his hand, I had given it to him because I just couldn't throw it out.

So Lars said that he would keep it for me in case that I needed it. I told him that I never would but I guess he new better then me. He said he wouldn't tell anyone that I hadn't thrown it out. But what else am I supposed to do??? Michael is back and I am dating JP! I can't talk to anyone else because no one else will understand.

There is someone outside the bathroom door. Please don't be Michael, please don't be anyone who wants to talk about Michael.

It's my mom, I mean it was really sweet of her to come to this ball for me even though she hates it, but if she expects me to come out of this bathroom then she has another thing coming. There is someone else with her, its Tina. Tina is so sweet, she said that she wishes she had two guys fighting over her.

They say that I don't have to come out but if they don't want Lars to come in a break then door down then I will have to open it. I guess it will be ok if I don't have to leave, because at least in the girls bathroom I am safe from Michael and JP and I don't have to deal with anything.

**Friday 9****th**** October, Still in the bathroom**

My mom and Tina have gone to get me a drink, my mom says that it might be a good night for me to try some champagne. They have been really great and I feel better now that I have talked to someone. I guess my mom understands more then I thought. I mean she was young once, and she did fall in love with a prince and get pregnant when she was only young.

I opened the door to the bathroom and my mom and Tina rushed forward to hug me.

"What am I going to do?" I cried into my mom's arms.

"Oh honey" she said in that mom way that just makes you feel better. "It will be alright."

"Yeah" added Tina, "in my books the girl always has to choose between two guys. I think it's romantic."

"It's not romantic Tina," I said a little frustrated. "Anyway Michael doesn't even love me I don't even know why he is here. This is just some sick joke that Grandmere has concocted."

"Oh Mia you are silly sometimes" said my mom. "I don't think Michael would have come all this was if he didn't care for you. And as for your grandmother I have called your father and he is going to have a talk to her about princess lessons. We really think that it's important for you to focus on your studies."

Did she really mean that??? No more princess lessons. No more Grandmere. I have to admit this cheered me up a lot. Not enough to leave the ladies but enough to smile a little.

"I can't believe she did that," said Tina. "And just after you and JP got together."

"OH god," I said feeling a little bit sick. "JP is he ok, he must hate me. I completely forgot about him again and he has been so great about the whole thing."

"He's Ok" said Tina, "he's with Boris. He is just worried about you. We all are, even Michael."

"So there not fighting," I hiccupped.

"No Mia" my mom smiled at me. "They are not fighting, though I don't think that they are going to be best friends any time soon."

So we talked some more about all kinds of things. It was nice, but I really wanted to know what had happened.

"Umm" I said nervously. "Is Michael still here or did he leave after he saw me with JP"

"I'll go find out as much as I can and come tell you," said Tina getting up to walk away. "I'll be your spy."

Tina is so great, this is why I love her because she totally gets it. I really wanted to know what was going on. So Tina left and my mom said that she was going to go and get me a drink because I looked like I needed one. But I think she just wanted to go and yell at Grandmere. I have to admit I am kind of excited about that.

GO MOM!

I think someone just walked into the bathroom. I thought I told Lars to watch the door so no one came in here.

Oh god I know those shoes.

Oh god I know that voice.

This is the GIRLS bathroom, what does he think he is doing.

Oh no I forgot to lock the door again after mom left.


	23. Chapter 23

**Friday 9****th**** October, The bathroom of hell! **

I hate him, I honestly hate him.

I HATE MICHAEL MOSKOVITZ!

He opened the door to my cubicle because I had forgotten to lock it after my mom had gone. Lars was supposed to be watching at the door anyway.

We both just stared at each other for a moment because wow, we hadn't seen each other for a long time and well the last time we did see each other wasn't exactly the best. I had a flash back to a look on Michael face when he had seen me kiss JP.

Still he was there and my heart did that skippy thing that it does whenever I see him. He was so close after being so far away, I just wanted to jump on him. But then it all wend down hill, here's what happened.

_Michael: Why did you invite me here?_

_Me: I didn't_

_Michael: Who else would have sent me an invite as well as a ticket back home?_

_Me: It must have been Grandmere…_

_Michael: Your grandmother hates me there is no way she would go to all the trouble to get me here._

God he it hot when he is angry. Kind of like Spike from Buffy, except with out the whole violent sex thing.

_Mia: Why would I invite you? You said you didn't want to be with me!_

_Michael: Well maybe you did it to humiliate me or to get back at me for something you think that I have done. Like some how we are even if you bring me here to watch you parade your toy boy around in front of me. I just didn't think you would do something like this, I thought… Never mind._

_Mia: It wasn't me IT WAS GRANDMERE! I didn't even know you were going to be here until I saw you when I walked in. _

_Michael: Your grandmother doesn't hate me that much. Anyway even after you saw me you still danced with that Ahole!_

_Mia: What was I supposed to do? Let go of JP and run over to you. YOU BROKE UP WITH ME!_

_Michael: For good reason too, I knew there was something going on with you two. _

_Mia: THERE WAS NOT!!! And you know it…_

_Michael: Anyway you broke up with me first!_

_Mia: Not this again, I was just upset, like you knew I would be… That's why you didn't tell me about the Judith thing to start with. I'm not the one that MOVED TO JAPAN!_

_Michael: I moved for you, I did everything for you. And it didn't seem to take you very long to move on. I have barley been gone a month. _

_Mia: What was I supposed to do wait around for you, even you said that wasn't fair. You didn't wait around for me. You slept with Judith because you couldn't wait for me!_

_Michael: That was before we were going out, before I even knew that you liked me. This is different. _

_Mia: What's so different about it? We weren't together then and we aren't together now. Why did you even come back? You knew I was with JP. _

He looked at me with both disgust and love at the same time and then walked out. I was left to my anger which was slowly fading into regret. I couldn't handle the pain. But the anger I could handle. I can't handle loving Michael, so I decided to hate him instead.

Again I am alone sitting on a toilet my only company this stupid ratty journal. I don't think that things are ever going to go back to normal. There is no way that Michael would ever forgive me after tonight. You know what I don't care, I am not going to let Michael ruin my night.

My mom came in, she must have seen Michael leave. She gave me a glass of champagne which I downed in one go. I told her that I had to freshen up and that I would be out in a minute. She wasn't really keen to leave me, I think she might have been regretting giving me that glass but she left.

No I feel kind of light headed. I think it must be from all the crying. I am sick of crying. I am no determined to have a good time. We are supposed to be celebrating Tina's birthday anyway, it was too bad that Prince William couldn't make it. I am going to show Michael how much I don't need him.

I think I'll go get another glass of champagne.


	24. Chapter 24

**Saturday Morning, the hotel room of LOVVVVVVVVVVVVVE!**

Ok I am having the best night ever! I totally ignored Michael for like the whole night.

I dance with so many people.

I danced with JP.

I danced with Zac Efron!

I danced with that guy from Superbad!

I danced with some Prince he was pretty.

I danced with all the members of Panic! At the Disco.

I danced with Ben McKenzie, a hot guy from the grade above me. I think he likes Lana but he ended up hooking up with Trish.

I even danced with Hank!

I had an argument with Miley Cyrus about the role of religion in politics.

Lana danced with everyone there.

Tina only danced with Boris.

I love Tina.

And I love Boris.

And I love Tina and Boris together, they are so lucky they have found each other.

Shameeka hooked up with some guy from some reality show.

Lana tried to hook up with the Irish guy from Atonement (I guess she has a thing for Irish guys.)

Michael spent the whole night watching me, but I wasn't even looking at him. I just happened to notice by accident that he was looking me.

Even my mom had a good time.

I love CHAMPAGNE!

And I love my friends!

Now we are in my hotel room, me and EVERYONE! I don't even know them all but I love them. We stole some Champagne from the ball and they are playing twister. I can't believe I have drank so much and I am not even drunk!

Wait Lana is saying something!

I love Lana, I can't believe I wasn't friends with her before.

Lana says we should go out and I say YES! She said we should sneak out the back so the press doesn't see us. Good idea LANA!

JP says I should stop writing in my book and come lie down with him. But I think I will go with Lana, going out's a good idea. It's really hot in here.


	25. Chapter 25

**Saturday 10****th**** October, Some Diner**

I feel so sick! I feel like there are one hundred little men trying to drill their way out of my head. I just read my last journal entry and I guess I must have been drunker then I thought because I can't remember writing it.

I don't know why I had thought that leaving the hotel room was a good idea. But I guess it didn't turn out too bad. As far as I know we didn't run into any press and it was actually kind of fun. I mean apart from how I feel now.

We went to a Karaoke Bar, and I totally kicked butt thanks to all my practicing and Lilly said that it was pointless. Then we went to this dance club, which was totally fun. I think I used my dad's emergency Credit card to buy everyone drinks though.

Someone I can't remember who said that we should go and watch the sunrise because it was getting to that time. So we sat and watched the sunrise which was actually kind of nice. I was sitting with JP who kept trying to make out with me but I guess that was kind of nice too.

I even got a bit of sleep lying with him, it was nice, it was the first time I had slept with a guy. Not that we did it, but I couldn't help thinking about Michael. I don't know what happened to him after we left last night. I feel really bad about the fight we had I wish I hadn't have behaved the way that I did.

After a while I started to notice that I was really hungry, which is strange because I also kind of felt like throwing up. So we came here and now we are eating everything we everything on the menu and it all tastes so good. Especially the bacon, oh the bacon is good.

God I'm thirsty. I hope everyone is not too worried about me. I recon they think that I am still sleeping. I should probably head home everyone is looking at us strangely because we are wearing ball gowns at seven am in the morning.

I guess that is a little weird, I wonder why I didn't think of that last night.


	26. Chapter 26

**Saturday 10****th**** October, Cab on the way from the Four Seasons**

I guess some of the press must have seen us last night after all because when I got to the Four Seasons it was surrounded by them. Camera's flashing. We saw them before then saw us which was lucky because everyone darted in front of me so that they wouldn't be able to see.

I just ran back to the cab jumped in and told him the drive. I knew that the others would be ok, but I just couldn't let them see me coming home at 9am in the morning still wearing the same thing I was last night. I would never live it down, I would be branded a part princess forever.

So now I am just going to go home and try to stop my head from hurting. It just keeps getting worse. I think I just need to sleep. I hope my mom will forgive but I am quite sure that my dad will not. I think I will pick up a paper just to see what exactly they have decided to say about me.

**Saturday 10****th**** of October, the Penguin house at the Zoo**

OMG!!! MY LIFE IS OVER. The sad thing is that I am not even exaggerating this time.

I can't believe he did this too me.

I can't believe I let this happen!

WHY AM I SO STUPID!

I hate him, I know I say that a lot lately but I really mean it. I hate him with all my heart.

I never thought I would say this but I should have listened to Lilly. JP is the biggest jerk in the world.

HE WROTE A BOOK!

Why I didn't think that it was weird that someone JP's age was getting a book published??? I mean he would have to have written a hell of book. Like maybe one a about America's own Princess. A book about the Princess of Genovia written by her boyfriend!

I am getting tears in my journal, which is turns out is the only thing I can trust.

His book, his stupid book! Why didn't I see this coming?

Because I am stupid and I thought that he actually liked me. I guess I liked the idea that somebody loved me if Michael didn't. Now I don't have Michael and I never will, and I have a 'tell all' book written by the one guy I thought I could tell anyway.

NO WONDER I DON'T OPEN UP BECAUSE WHEN I DO SOMEONE WRITES A BOOK ABOUT IT!

I can't stop crying, I am so scared. I can't even call my mom because she is going to kill me for trusting JP and I lost my phone somewhere last night. No wonder JP ran away so fast when he saw the reporters at the hotel. I just thought that he didn't want them to get a picture of us coming home together at that time in morning because they would jump to conclusions.

I thought he was being sweet, I am officially the stupidest person alive. Lilly was so right. No wonder she thought I was an idiot.

I am going to live here with the penguins, then I will be happy. Maybe after a while everyone will forget about me and no one will buy JP's book and then I can move to Iceland and live by myself and never talk to anyone or trust anyone ever again.

You want to know the worst part, I almost did with him last night. I mean he wanted to and I was so drunk that I almost did, if I Tina hadn't interrupted I totally would have. What a chapter that would have made?? Oh well I guess he will talk about how frigid I am.

I wish I lived in Iceland! No one would care that I am Princess because they are too busy reading and going to the opera. They are way too smart to read the tabloids. I could live out my days writing books that everyone would read because in Iceland there is nothing to do but read.

I think I am going to vomit.

I wish Michael was here.

**Saturday 10****th**** October, the Penguin house at the Zoo**

OK it is starting to get a bit crowded in here. I guess it has gotten more popular since I was last here, that movie about the dancing penguin probably helps.

It sucks because everyone is staring at me. I suppose you don't often see someone in a ball gown sitting in the penguin house at the zoo. It might also be because I am sitting on the floor. I look gross anyway because my make up is running because of all the crying I am doing.

I don't want to be crying I just can't think of anything else to do. I mean my life was made into a movie, but it wasn't really my life. It was a made up story about someone who was supposed to be me. It wasn't me, but JP knows all kinds of personal things about me, how can anyone be so mean.

He said that he loves me.

You can't do something like to someone that you love.

Oh God! I just can't do it anymore. I give up, I want someone to take it all back. I don't want to be a princess. I don't want to grow up. I don't want to have a book written about me. I want to go back to when all I had to worry about was failing algebra.

Oh god someone is calling my name. They have found me the reporters have found me.

I am safe nowhere.


	27. Chapter 27

**Saturday 10****th**** October, the Moskovitz's apartment **

He found me!!! Michael found me. I don't know how but somehow he knew where I was.

I was hiding in the corner of the penguin house at the zoo and I was seriously freaking out. I thought that everyone was staring at me, which they probably were. I mean I was wearing a ball gown.

I thought that it was all over because I heard someone yell my name. I thought that the reporters had found me and that I was all alone and no one could protect me.

Then I saw him, pushing his was through the crowd and he looked so handsome. He was my knight in shining amour, my Tristan to his Isolde, the Romeo to my Juliet and he had come to rescue me. I know that was not in the best state of mind but I seriously think that he must be my guardian angel or something.

He rand over to me and the look on his face said everything. He bent down and put his arms around me. From that moment I didn't care what was happening because it didn't matter. I could SMELL MICHAELS NECK AGAIN and it smelt just as good as I remembered.

I just buried my head into my neck, someone else screamed my name but I didn't care because I knew that everything was going to be alright. When I am in Michael's arms nothing can hurt me. He lifted me up and carried me away. It really was like something out of a movie.

He got me out of the zoo and put me in a cab and took me back to his house. His parents are still away they decided to extend their trip and go from Japan to Australia. I didn't know how I would deal with my parents so Michael said he would call my mom for me. I was sitting in his living room when Lilly walked in. She looked kind of upset about something.

"Sorry," she said kind of quickly. "I should have told you, it's just…"

I didn't know what she was going to say but I wasn't really worried because she was here and I really needed my best friend, because even after everything that had happened between us at least I knew that I could trust her. She would never hurt me like JP did.

"It's just," she continued. "I mean you get everything, I know you don't want it and that it's not all that it's cracked up to be but still. I just want to be noticed sometimes. I thought I would be happy to be the woman behind your success but the thing is that you don't need me. I mean look what you did for your country. That was just so cool."

"You're a really hard act to follow. I guess it just all got too much for me. I really loved JP, and I know it was stupid and I found out what he was doing but he told me that he thought he was falling in love with me, so I didn't tell you. Even though I really wanted too, I was just exited because he didn't like you. I thought he was in love with you, so I tried to make him hate you. I mean I only made that stupid sight because he wanted to."

"WHAT" I said sitting bolt upright. That was it I am going to kill JP, I can't believe he told Lilly he was falling in love with her and then he said he was in love with me. He is a lying ass. I hope that Lars kills him.

"That was his idea," I continued.

"But Mia," said Lilly. "I went along with it. I should have told you as soon as I found out but I was just so happy and I was in the kind of crazy world where JP was everything. And then he broke up with me and I wanted to tell you but I was really nervous because I thought that you would hate me for going along with it. Then you kissed him and I hated you because I thought you had stolen him from me."

"I shouldn't have kissed him," I said.

"It was an accident," she said tears starting to fall from her eyes. "You didn't know what he was like because I didn't tell you. I should have told you even after that. But I was just so mad. I was more then mad I was jealous."

"Why would you be jealous of me?" I said my face wet with tears. "I am such a retard, I should have seen this coming. I should have stood by you anyway, even if I didn't know how bad JP was. He hurt you Lilly and that should have been enough to make me hate him. Oh Lilly I'm so sorry."

"No I'm sorry," said Lilly throwing her arms around me. "I am the worst friend ever."

We were sitting there crying, hugging each other and apologizing when Michael came in. He looked so majestic standing in the doorway.

"Sorry," he said looking uncomfortable. "I didn't mean to interrupt. I'll just be in my room."

"No you stay where with Mia," said Lilly standing up quickly. "I have to call Tina and tell her that Mia is alright." With that she walked out of the room. I could have hugged her or killed her for leaving me alone with him. I knew we needed to talk but I really wasn't ready to deal with reality yet.

He is just so handsome, I mean the way he came and rescued me it was fantastic, but I mean he was still going to be in Japan. And he is going to be there for a long time. There was no point

It was awkward for a moment. Michael was just standing there looking all Henry VIII. Before he got fat and grew his beard of course. We just stared at each other for a bit and I figured that I should probably say something.

"Do you want to sit down," I said. It was a stupid thing to say I mean it's not like it's even my chair it's his. I just offered him his own chair I am such an idiot.

"Umm I'm alright, "he said trying to be polite. " Are you? Alright I mean?"

I thought about it for a minute, was I alright?

"I've been better," I said which was true.

"That's good," he said. There was silence for a minute then he added, "I called your mom. She is ok with you being here but she wants you to call her."

I do fell bad, I do want to see my mom. It's just that if I talk to my mom and I go home then this all becomes real and I don't want to deal with reality at the moment. In reality Michael will have to go back to Japan soon and I just can't think about that right now. I wish I had Fat Louie to hug though, I could really use a hug from someone who is always there for me.

What I really want is for Michael to hug me, but that's not going to happen. I mean he still lives in Japan, which is like ages away. So I know that all the issues that we had before are still there but still. I guess I still know there is no way that we can work as a couple, at least until he comes back from Japan and who knows when that will be.

He looked so hot and I was kind of sick of waiting for him to kiss me. I mean he had rescued the Princess isn't this where he is supposed to claim his prize. It just got all too much and the silence was so awkward that I did something that a month ago I never would have done. I stood up walked over to him and kissed him.

It felt so nice to be close to him again, but then I started to freak out because when I pulled away he had this weird confused look on his face. OMG! What if he is no longer attracted to me and he only rescued me because I am one of his sister's friends. Maybe he just felt sorry for me.

But then he looked at me and smiled, I guess he must have seen that I was starting to get worried. Then he did the best thing ever!

HE KISSED ME!

ON THE MOUTH!!!

It was so good to kiss him again, it was like everything was ok and nothing in the world could touch me. After a while Lilly came into the room so we had to stop kissing. Which was kind of good thing because I excused myself and went to the bathroom so that I could write all this down. So that I could remember that sometimes good things do happy.

I guess I should call my mom. I just don't want this to end!


	28. Chapter 28

**Sunday 11****th**** October, 11pm, the loft**

I have had the worst and the best weekend ever! I just can't believe it.

Ok so yesterday I cam out of the bathroom and I called my mom, she told me that the reporters had found out where we lived. I wonder who told them, NOT! She said Mr G took Rocky to his parents until this all cools down and she was just waiting for me to call. She wanted to come see me and I felt bad so I said that she could. After I asked Lilly if it would be OK, it is her house after all.

Lilly told me that Tina was coming round because there was nothing she could do to stop her. Which I have to admit was kind of good because I sat there with Tina (with Wahim of course), Boris (he had come with Tina), Michael, Lilly, mom, and Lars (he had come with my mom) and I found out in pieces what had happened. Oh and mom had brought Fat Louie with her, so I was with all of the people I cared about most, apart from my dad, Mr G and Rocky of course.

After we had got all the hello's and the hugs and my mom had called the Moskovitz's to see if it was alright for all of us to stay there for a few days. They said it was alright and that they were having a great time in Australia, which they said, was surprisingly more cultured then they had thought. Then we sat down and I asked the question I had be burning to ask since I had first seen that Newspaper article.

"He can't actually publish that book can he?" I said with more hope then I actually felt. Everyone kind of averted their eyes.

"Well," said my mom. "Your father is doing everything that he can to stop it but because of the country that we live people are kind of free to say what they want especially if what they are saying is true and they have the proof to back it up."

"What kind of proof does he have??" I asked because I really didn't know I mean he was my friend and people knew that we hung out but I mean stuff that people have seen happen wouldn't make for much of a book because everyone knows it.

"A lot of it is public knowledge," said Lilly because my mom didn't seem to know what to say. "Like how you became a princess and stuff that the press has witnessed. Even you told everyone that you were dating. And well he has a whole bunch of notes that you too sent to each other, and internet conversations. So really there is not much that your father can do and if you try to block it only more people will read it."

"We aren't even going to try to block it???" I was starting to freak out, I mean they can't let him publish it they just can't.

"Mia," said my mom. "Your father is doing everything he can. We will know more on Monday, there is no use worrying about it when there is nothing that we can do."

Yeah easy for her to say she is not the one who has her personal life written about her in a book by her ex boyfriend.

"It'll be alright Mia," it was Michael who had spoken and it sounds silly but I believed it. Michael always makes me feel better…

"And anyway JP got what he deserved," said Tina with a smile on her face.

"What happened?" I asked. "Did you find him Lars?"

"No Princess I didn't but I someone did," said Lars with a smirk on his face.

"WHO?" I screamed with anticipation.

"Lana," said Tina trying to hold back her laughter. "Let's just say that you should read the paper in the morning."

"She was not very happy with JP," added Boris.

Even Michael had a smile on his face and I could not wait to see the paper.

I love Lana!

Oh an apparently JP had told the papers about the night we had had but everyone else had denied it. I mean everyone not just the people that I know. But everyone who was at the party and everyone who JP had said was out with us after the ball. He now looks like a liar and a fake and all the papers.

So then after we talked for a while mom said that she was going to go and see Mr G, I should really call him Frank but doesn't it just sound weird. So she left and she left us some money to order some Pizza and said that Lars had to stay with us. But that was cool because I kind of felt safer with him anyway. He was pretty cool about it he just sat in the living room with Wahim watching re-runs of old war movies and told me to stay away from the balcony so that no one could spot me.

It was great I had a really awesome night, we watched all four of the Die Hard movies in a row. We even stopped and attempted to act out the really awesome parts. Lars and Wahim even joined in they made really good European terrorists. We ordered Pizza, just cheese for me because for the first time in a while I didn't feel like eating meat.

At about ten o'clock at night Tina and Boris left and went home, to separate homes of course it's not like Mr Hakim Baba would let Tina have a boy sleep over. Her curfew isn't until midnight but I am pretty sure that she and Boris just wanted to make out for a while before they had to leave.

Then it was just me Lilly and Michael, it was like things were back to normal. Lars went to bed I think he has had a long day because I have a feeling that he may have been tailing me last night. So Michael, Lilly and I sat on their parent's bed and talked about who we would choose if it was the end of the world and we had to choose a partner.

After a while Lilly said that she was going to go and read and that I could stay up as late I wanted but she needed her beauty sleep. After she left it was kind of weird to be alone with Michael again seeing as the last time we were we had made out. But there was a question that was I had been waiting to ask since I had seen him standing there at the ball.

"Why did you come back?" I asked looking at him in the eye.

"Don't you know Mia," he said taking his hand in mine. "I love you Mia, I always have and I always will."

"I love you too," I said because I did, I really did love him more then I could ever see myself loving anyone else.

"But we can't do this," he said with sadness in his eyes.

"I know," I said, because I did as much as I loved him I knew that he had to build his robotic arm and I was always going to freak out while he was there. Boris was right there was no way that I would wait for him and it has nothing to do with the fact that I don't love him, it's just sometimes love isn't enough.

"Can we," he said looking hopeful. "Can we just pretend for the night that I don't have to leave in the morning?"

"I'd like that," I said smiling. So we kissed and we held each other as if we would never leave. We didn't do it, I'm not going to do it with a guy who I am not even going out with. It was the first time that I had really wanted to though, but Michael said that we shouldn't and he was right. But it was nice just to sleep next to him, I felt safe.

He left early this morning and I think that it was harder to watch him go this time then it was the last time. I didn't cry but it was really hard, I didn't go to the airport with him because I didn't want to cause anymore trouble. I guess I am ok with the fact that we aren't together and it is nice to know that he loves me. I know that one day he will be back and maybe if he hasn't met a hot geisha girl, then we can maybe go out on a date some time.

Lilly says that she thinks I am being very mature about it all, even though then minute Michael left the apartment I started to cry and I didn't really stop for a good few hours. When Lilly could stop me crying she invited Tina around and Lung Su and Perin and Shameeka, she even invited Lana and they all tried to cheer me up.

They did sort of I mean Tina was all sorry because of the whole telling me to date JP thing and Lilly was really sorry for not telling me about JP's book. I guess I forgive her I mean if she had kissed Michael apart from being gross because they are related I would have hated her. So then I was all sorry to Lilly for not standing by her when she needed me.

I didn't really cheer up until I saw the paper which Lana had kindly brought a copy of.

On the front page was a photo of JP NAKED!!!

That's right NAKED!

It turns out that Lana happened to run into JP just after she had seen a newspaper. She went up to him told him that what he was done was so cool and she was only using me to get in the paper but she now realized that he was so much cooler then me. Well I said that no boy could resist Lana and I was right because she totally convinced him to go into a bathroom in a department store with him and take of all of his clothes, then she left him there naked in the girls toilet and went and told the press where to find him.

He tried to run out discretely and find something to wear but he was greeted by the flashing of cameras!

LANA IS SO COOL! I wish I had to guts to do something like that.

It was the funniest thing ever and the best thing was that they also had a picture of Lana kissing JP (I am ok with it because it was in the name of revenge) and they were calling him shallow and heartless and there was this totally cute picture of me looking all upset which they must have had from when I had just broken up with Michael.

They had interviews with a bunch of my 'fans' all of them saying that they hated JP for cheating on my and that they would never read that book because he was a liar so there was no way that anything in there was going to be true. Really seeing JP naked and humiliated on the front page of a major newspaper was the best gift anyone could have given me.

We spent the whole day laughing at JP there was even footage of him on the

news, which we taped so that we could watch it over and over again. We ate ice – cream and everyone told how they were sure that me and Michael would get back together when he comes back from Japan. Tina even suggested that maybe he might finish the robotic arm thing a lot quicker then he thought and be home for Christmas.

Lilly said that it would most probably not happen, but when she saw my face she added that he might come home for the break anyway. After I while I really wanted to go home and the good news was that I could. Some one had leaked to the press that I lived somewhere else and that I would be staying at the Four Season, I have a feeling it might have been Lana again.

So now I am at home and I'm thinking about everything that has happened to me. I am also thinking that this is the last page in my journal and I don't think that I am going to need another one. I think it's time I rely on something else… for a while anyway.

I do hate JP, but I guess I kind of feel sorry for him that he had to do that and I am really glad that me and Lilly are friends again. I mean I kind of don't feel right if I am not friends with her.

Michael will still be on a plane but he said that he would call me when he got there. I will really miss smelling his neck but I think I can spare it when it's for such a good cause. I love Michael and it will be weird to not be with him, but I know that he loves me and one day he will be mine!

The end!


End file.
